


Preoccupation

by MidgardianMenace



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Abuse, Anger, Angst, Asgard, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Dominance, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, King Loki, Love, Love/Hate, Miðgarðr | Midgard, Pain, Past Relationship(s), Physical Abuse, Porn, Possessive Behavior, Smut, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2018-10-29 20:18:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 28,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10861347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidgardianMenace/pseuds/MidgardianMenace
Summary: Is it possible? Possible to love again one you once loved so wholly, so surely? One that shut you out and pushed you away? One that turned on you so quickly that you didn't even notice until it was too late? Can this be possible? Could you love a man like that again or, perhaps more importantly, should you?





	1. Chapter 1

 

I ran until I couldn't breath, and then I ran some more. I didn't know how long I'd been running, or how far. All of this was pushed to the very back of my mind by the frantic 'what if?' situations playing around in my brain.  
A couple of blocks from Central Park I saw an abandoned red bike lying on the sidewalk. Tipping it up I did a once over it and everything seemed to be in working order. I swung my leg over the seat and began to peddle down the road. The streets were littered with abandoned cars and there wasn't a person to be seen. I assumed the city had looked like this since this morning. I was awoken at 5AM by what I assumed was the beginning of an earthquake, I should've known it wouldn't be as pleasant as that. I was miles out of town and I felt the rumble. But here, near the source, the damage was incredible. Broken windows, fallen bricks, entire roofs missing.  
When I was about halfway around the park there was a bright light and another shock wave. I fell off of the bike but quickly got back up to see what had happened. There, in the center of the park, Thor had landed on Earth in the bifrost tunnel. I called to him, he didn't hear. I tried again but it was no use. As quickly as he had landed he had taken off again swinging his hammer. He flew straight for Stark tower and my heart beat quickened. With Thor here I knew the intensity of the situation would grow quickly.  
I started to peddle again racing as fast as I could to get to the tower. This had to be stopped, and only I could do it. I knew what awaited me at the top of the tower, it was Loki. As I got closer to the tower his presence on this world became obvious. The wind became colder and there was ice all around. Buildings were covered in spots of ice. The road a minefield of ice patches. I passed a semi truck that was frozen solid in a chunk of ice. Oh yes, he's here, and he's angry. No question all 6 of the avengers were rallied at the top of the tower. Clint with his bow drawn, Natasha pointing two pistols at Loki's head. Bruce and Steve ready to act and Tony charged and waiting. Thor would no doubt be having a shouting match, face to face, with Loki. It would do no good, we all knew why he was here.  
That's why I was living a few miles out of town. Loki was here for me. He had come before and I know now there's no way to stop him from coming again. Almost a year ago now Tony sent me to live out of town. I was alone in a small town and I didn't know anyone. Steve would come out on his motorcycle about once a month to check on me. Those were the highlight of my days. I worked at a little hardware store walking distance from my house, though what wasn't. I came to make a few friends, but nobody I couldn't live without. That's why when Loki came this time I quickly made up my mind that I was going to end this. I drove to the city limits but then the roads were blocked by abandoned cars, which is why I had been running.  
I cycled past the end of the park, putting me only a few blocks from the tower. For a moment I could see it, and at the top there were lights flashing. Blue, red, orange, white. A fight had been started. When I reached the door of the tower the security system, and JARVIS, were down. I walked into the building and prayed that the elevators were still in working order. Pressing the up button I breathed a sigh of relief as it turned green. When the door opened I pressed the roof button. It was a long ride up, over 100 stories, and I could soon hear the sounds of battle above me. If nobody was injured by the time I reached the top I would go peacefully, without a fight.  
I thought of the life that awaited me, as I had many times before. Loki was here to take me to Asgard, a world he and Thor had been fighting over for years now. He wanted me to be his queen, to rule at his side, and to, no doubt, do whatever he asked of me. I remember when he told us why he was here the first time. Nat, whom I had only recently met, asked why he wanted me. I explained to her that Loki and I had been together once, and that was as far as I went. Truth is there was much more to the story.  
When I was younger maybe 15, my family was living a couple hours from the city. It was a small town, just like the one Tony had sent me too. It was an average day and I was taking my dog, Davey, for a walk. We went pretty far that day, out into the fields of grain and grass. The clouds turned dark in what seemed like an instance and the wind picked up. I stared at the sky as the clouds swirled overhead. A crash of lightning came and Davey's leash got loose from my hand. He ran off, I turned to call for him and then everything went dark. When I woke up I had no idea where I was and no idea who was touching me. I panicked and called for my parents. After I calmed down a woman explained that I was on another world. She took me to my mom and then she proceeded to fill in the details. I had gotten caught under the edge of the bifrost tunnel and had been knocked unconscious. Odin, unsure if I would survive, took me to Asgard to be treated. He found my parents and brought them as well. Once they were sure I would be ok we left and returned to Earth, but in the summers, when school was out, I would return and spend 3 or 4 months there under Odin's watch. Obviously I became close with both Loki and Thor.  
On my third summer, I think I was 18, Loki and I were exploring a forest, just walking around. When we stopped to gaze at a beautiful waterfall he took my face in his hands and kissed me. At the time I didn't know what had come over him, looking back he had been acting strange that whole summer. It was the next summer the Loki and I started to see each other secretly. We weren't sure if Odin and Frigga would approve of our new found feelings, and so we decided to keep it a secret. We would spend the days away from the castle, and when we were there we would steal kisses in the hallways. One night he came to my bed chambers and when I let him in he kissed me so passionately it took my breath away. He spent the night asleep beside me and it was that night that I truly fell in love with him, but I never did tell him.  
The summer following that, the summer of my 20th year, Loki learned the truth about his origins. He was from a different world, he was part of a completely different race. Yes he was a prince, but he was a Jötunn prince. The truth was a burden to Loki, it weighed heavy on his mind. It took weeks to convince him that he was still Asgardian, that his family still loved him and that I still wanted to be with him. I thought all was well, I was wrong. At the end of that summer, 2 months later, he had changed. He was easily angered, and very resentful towards his parents. He told them of our relationship in a fit of rage one day, they were less than impressed. He was quick to let them know that he didn't care what they thought because they weren't his parents. He became short tempered, especially with me. We would cross paths in the hallways some days and he would be all over me. When I denied him due to the inappropriate nature of the public affection he would be angry, he would accuse me of not wanting him, saying he wasn't good enough for me. It wasn't until the day before I left that I snapped though. He appeared in my chambers seemingly in a good mood. We spent a few minuets sitting on the bed talking before he whipped out the accusations. Out of nowhere he asked me how long Thor and I had been seeing each other behind his back. I was confused more than anything and asked him what he was talking about. He stood and began yelling at me about how he'd noticed we'd been spending a lot of time together. I began to cry. He didn't even notice. After a few minuets of his ranting I stood and faced him. I told him I wouldn't be returning the next year and that I didn't wish to see him again. He screamed a final 'Fine' before leaving the room. I haven't seen him since then.  
Thor would never let him near me when he would show up on Earth, knowing that Loki would take me away.  
As the elevator dinged signalling that I had reached the roof I reminded myself that it didn't matter what Loki was going to do, people were getting hurt and this had to stop. The doors opened and I stepped out into the small grey room. Wrapping my fingers around the doorknob to the roof I prepared myself for the worst. Opening the door the frosty air blew against my face. The first thing I noticed was Clint and Nat on either side of where I was, behind a couple of electrical towers they had their weapons aimed. Steve was on the ground behind Nat, presumably unconscious. Bruce was no where to be seen, and that scared me. Thor stood to the left with his hammer ready to throw. Then my eyes landed on Loki. He stood directly in front of me. He had Tony tied to a couple of poles, his suite was in pieces all around him. He stood in just his jeans as Loki had one hand in his hair pulling his head back, and the other around one of his arms. He whispered something in his ear as Thor waited for any opening to hit his brother without hurting Tony. I stood silently watching the scene before me. Loki let out a cruel laugh, tilting his head up to the sky. When he brought his head down to say something to Thor he caught my figure in the corner of his eye. Turning his head slowly he locked his eyes onto mine. His voice was soft but I heard him none the less.  
"Grace"


	2. Chapter 2

"NO" Thor whipped his head around to look at me "what are you doing here?!" he headed for me, keeping himself between me and Loki.  
"It's alright Thor" I put my hand up to his chest  
"It most certainly is not" he glanced back to make sure Loki hadn't moved  
"This has to end" I looked up at him "people are getting hurt" I noticed a large cut on his left bicep, covered in blood "...you're getting hurt" I motioned to the cut  
"I cannot let this happen" his grip was tight on Mjolnir  
"It's no longer your decision" I sighed "you've spent the last 3 years protecting me...it's my turn to protect you" I stepped to the side and around his large frame  
"Grace, you don't need to do this" Tony reasoned as I approached him. Loki stood beside him  
"yes, I do" Loki's eyes were dark, almost unfamiliar "Cut him loose" I turned to Loki  
"Ha. You expect me to just let him go?" he spat  
"I'm here to offer you a deal" I explained  
He crossed his arms "I'm listening" I glanced back at Clint and Nat, and Steve on the ground  
"me for them"  
His eyebrows furrowed as I turned back to look at him "excuse me?"  
"me for them"  
"Well then, you must care a great deal for your Avengers" he came towards me "I have never known you to give in to something so easily" he reached up to touch my cheek I hit his hand away  
"me for them, is it a deal?!"  
He glared at me "what exactly does that mean?"  
"You let them go, right now, all of them. They will leave unharmed, and they will never be harmed at your hand or your command for as long as you live" I explained  
His mouth turned up in a small, evil, smile "and what do I receive in return?"  
"Me. That's what you want right? I'll go with you, back to Asgard. I'll be your queen for the rest of my years"  
He came closer once again, less than a foot in front of me and whispered "deal"  
As he reached for me again I shouted "they go free, NOW!"  
"As you wish" and without a glance behind him he waved his hand and Tony fell to the ground. Nat rushed to his side. "Well my darling, I believe our work here is done" he wrapped his arm around my waist  
"I swear" Thor started "if there is a way in this universe, I will set you free" Loki called for Heimdall as we walked past Thor.  
Loki's final words before we were taken to Asgard were "now brother, it's not nice to take things that belong to other people"

~~~

When we arrived on Asgard Loki was quickly surrounded by a group of guards and ushered away. Two men and a woman were left to escort me across the rainbow bridge. The bridge was long, and the walk far, but it didn't bother me. As we walked silently I glanced up at the castle, it was so different. The once golden spires were tarnished and broken in several places, the sky a deep grey. It's funny, walking down the bridge towards the city like this always brought me such joy, such excitement. Now all I really wanted to do was turn around. When we arrived at the entrance to the castle the guards left the woman to take me to my room.  
"I'm Cleay, the prince has asked that I make sure you're comfortable" she explained  
I nodded and pushed a small smile onto my face. She led me up many stairs and toward two towering cream doors. I knew all too well what laid behind those doors, it was the room I always stayed in as a child. As the doors opened my eyes saw the same room I had looked at with amazement as a child. Physically the room hadn't changed, but it felt different. As I walked in I felt as though I was in a prison cell.  
"Shall we get you into some night clothes?" Cleay asked  
Having a hand maiden, another thing I thought to be such fun as a child. I sighed "yes, I suppose"  
After she had changed me she left the room. I collapsed onto the bed then crawled under the comforter. I willed sleep to overcome me and tell me this was all a bad dream.

~~~

As my eyes slowly opened my room was filled with women. Mornings were quite a spectacle in the castle. There was a woman to change my sheets, one to run my bath, one to brush my hair, one to dress me, one to tidy up and one to make the bed once the sheets were changed. I let them take me over. I was so depressed that this hadn't all been a dream that I could hardly function.  
After my bath I was dressed and sat down to have my hair brushed. Just as the woman finished with the tangled mess the door opened. There he stood in his dark leather pants and green tunic, fairly casual.  
"Excuse me ladies" they all turned their attention to Loki "leave us please" and with that they gathered up their things and were out of the room. I stood from my chair as he shut the door behind.  
"I am here to apologize" he walked slowly towards me "it seems in my haste to return to Asgard, and being called to a meeting with my council, I completely neglected to welcome you home properly" I stared at him and shifted my weight from one foot to the other "Welcome home Grace" he opened his arms for me.  
I made no effort to close the gap between us. "This isn't my home and it hasn't been for many years" I crossed my arms over my chest  
"It will be again" he placed his hand on my cheek  
"No" I answered sharply "never the way it was"  
"You are correct" he took a step back "after all, now you are the queen"  
"Not. Yet."  
"Ah right, I know you are anxious to get that fixed, so we shall do so right now" he took my hand. Leading me out of the room and down a few stories we appeared in the main dining area, there seated were Thor and Frigga.  
"Ah mother, how lovely it is to see you" he offered me a chair and sat next to me.  
"And you, my son" she smiled, but it was pained  
"I believe things can finally move forward now" Loki announced  
I looked at Thor questioningly, he simply sighed and lowered his head.  
"Yes" Frigga motioned to the men standing in the door to enter the room. 4 armored men appeared and took their seats.  
Frigga stood slowly "Thor, Loki, my sons. When your father died I was left to rule over Asgard. However I am only a woman, and a queen cannot rule without a king. Having said that a prince cannot take kingship without a princess at his side to become his queen. We have waited years for these circumstances to come about, but they have arrived. So after his wedding I, queen of Asgard, will pass the job of guiding this realm to my very capable son, Loki. There will be a crown passing ceremony tomorrow followed by a feast." And with that she left the room. Thor placed his face in his hands.  
"I do apologize brother" Loki said getting up and motioning for me to do the same "but I'm sure you will enjoy the Asgardian dungeon just as much as I once did"  
We returned to my room and once the doors were shut I had questions "What was that?" I asked  
"That" he smiled "was the official announcement of my promotion to king of Asgard"  
"...king?" I asked "now?" I was shaking  
"Yes my queen"  
"She said after you were married"  
"Oh" he chuckled "did I forget to mention that our wedding is to take place tonight?"  
My jaw dropped "...but"  
He headed for the door "I know we will be very happy"  
And with that he closed the door behind him.


	3. Chapter 3

When I went to bed on Tuesday night, in the simple small town I lived in, I remember thinking that my life was ok. It's not perfect but I have food, clothes, a house, a job, free will and people that love me. It's now Friday, and as I get ready to get out of my bed I am truly baffled at how much your life can change in just 3 days. I am a married woman. Only for a few hours now, but none the less I could feel it weighing on me already. The wedding itself wasn't all that awful, it was like any girls dream. A white dress, a crowd of adoring people, standing across from a handsome prince and a beautiful diamond ring. He made it painless, the officiator said everything accept for the 'I do's'. Two words, that's all it took. I felt like I had sold my soul to the devil. Loki was anxious to spend the night together, I was not. However I was able to convince him I wasn't interested in him until he was king, he said he understood, he said he also wouldn't be interested in a princess if he could have a queen. So that's how we parted last night. Tonight, however, he would be a king, and I a queen. How would I deter him then. Loki was busy with preparations and so I was left at my own accord for the day. So what did I do? I spent all day in my bed. The peace was short lived. Soon I was sitting up as the maids rushed in and quickly had me ready for the crowning ceremony. Cleay guided me down the halls to the main rooms. Everything was covered in gold and green, Loki's favorite colors. The main chambers were packed with people as we walked by. Cleay left me behind the wall of the front stage and soon Loki appeared beside me. As the music for our entrance began to play he held out his arm, and as I took it we moved from behind the large curtain to the stage. Now for all to see the room erupted in applause. I had hoped the people of Asgard would not be pleased with Loki's taking of the crown. Perhaps they were just so weary from all the fighting they thought this would bring some form of peace. I took my seat next to Loki as Thor escorted Frigga down the center walkway of the room. The applause was enormous for the Queen of Asgard. Frigga stood front and center as Thor sat next to me. I put on my best smile for the crowd and he nodded at me as he sat down. "People of Asgard, my people" the room fell silent "It has been a difficult time for us, but today I hope to end this. I have enjoyed watching over you, keeping you safe, getting to know you better. However I did so with a broken heart for the king that I, that we all, lost. My leadership over you was temporary but I thank you for all the patience that you shared with me. I love you all. Today I present to you a new leader. One I hope will do us all proud, and I'm sure he will." Loki stood and moved to Frigga's side "Loki, my son. You stand here before your people as a beacon of hope, that this difficult time might end. I know that your father taught you well the skills of being a king. You will rule this realm with honor and pride. Do you, Loki of Asgard, swear to protect this realm with all of your being?"  
He turned to look at her "I swear"  
"Do you swear to be loyal to the people you lead?"  
"I swear"  
"Do you swear to devote your life to the longevity of our home?"  
"I swear" he called  
"Then by the power granted to me by the gods" Loki turned to face the crowd as Frigga stepped behind him taking the crown from it's place on a pedestal "I pronounce you the new king of Asguard" she placed the crown on his head. The room cheered and he opened his arms to receive all the adoration. Frigga, Thor, Loki and I all retreated to the area behind the curtains where there were 5 or 10 guards waiting for us. Loki smiled "and as my first decision as king I order that my brother Thor be arrested and spend his days in the dungeon"  
"No!" I blurted before covering my mouth  
He turned to me with cold eyes "excuse me?"  
I looked at him "well, it's just, I think that's a little rash...darling" the term of endearment got his attention "there are still people out there who believe that Thor is the rightful king. Imagine the backlash if you condemn him to life in prison. Remember what happened when they locked you down there, my dear"  
His eyebrows furrowed "what would you suggest I do my queen?"  
He took my hand "Uh, well" I tried to think of something that assured Thor's disappearance, but that also wouldn't ruin his life. "Banish him. Send him to Midguard. Let him live out his years there" I tried to sound evil like him, I couldn't tell if it was working "shut down the bifrost, he would never be able to return, you would rule Asguard unchallenged."  
Loki kissed my hand "do you truly believe this is best?" I nodded "Then your fate has been decided brother, your lucky my bride is more merciful than I"  
Thor bowed "thank you, my queen" when he looked back up his eyes shone with thanks. The feast was marvelous. Food to feed hundreds lined the large party hall and adjacent to that the ballroom was filled with people dancing their cares away. I spent my night next to Loki, poised and smiling. I knew my duty.  
"Ah, Lady Sif" Loki greeted  
"King Loki" she bowed  
"How are you enjoying our party this evening?" He smiled I watched the rage behind her eyes  
"it's lovely"  
"I'm glad"  
"My king, I have yet to see your brother this evening"  
"Alas poor Thor could not attend tonight as I have banished him from Asguard" She held her composure well but I could see the sadness in her eyes, I could hear her heart breaking.  
"Sif" I stepped from behind Loki and wrapped my arms around her "he's ok, he's on Midguard, it's the best I could convince him of" I whispered  
She nodded and pulled away, turning and disappearing in the crowd. She was so strong, I knew all to well of her unspoken feelings for the eldest son of Odin. Sif was brave to make an appearance, she always was the level headed one of Thor's group. No doubt Hogun, Fandral and Volstagg were off drunk somewhere, feeling the failure of losing Asguard to Loki. They didn't even know yet that Thor was gone. The rest of the evening carried on slowly. It wasn't until Loki got into a conversation with his councilmen about battle plans and government that I excused myself.  
"Excuse me my lords, but this conversation is no place for a lady" I had spent enough time in Asguard to know what was expected of a docile woman "I think I will retire, goodnight my king"  
He nodded and I snuck away to my chambers. I instantly shed the uncomfortable dress on the floor and changed into my night clothes. The maids were busy with the kitchen tonight so I even got to change myself. Slipping into bed I took a deep breath, congratulating myself for making it through the day without breaking down. I had spent some time looking through the bookshelves in the room and had found one familiar book from Midguard, Little Women. I reached over to the table next to the bed where I had placed it earlier and cracked it open. Just as I turned the third page I heard my door open. It was Loki. Closing the door behind him he headed towards the bed. He smiled at me then sat on the bed.  
"Hello" I lowered my book to my lap "hi?"  
He chuckled "You seem surprised to see me"  
"Well I wasn't expecting you, no"  
"Is it not a mans job to check on his wife, make sure she's...satisfied?" He smirked  
I knew immediately what he meant "oh, I'm fine" I smiled hoping to get him to leave  
"Ah but I am not" he put his arm on the other side of me, trapping me  
"Loki" I warned  
He swung a leg over mine so he was overtop of me "you are so incredibly sexy" I wiggled to try to get free "do you know how long I have waited for this?" His lips attacked my neck  
"Loki" I tried again  
"Years Grace, years" he kissed my cheek and then pressed his lips to mine so hard that it hurt  
"Loki please" I mumbled pushing him back  
He threw the blanket off me and slid a hand up my thigh I squirmed backwards into the pillows as tears threatened to fall from my eyes "you don't have to do this"  
He chuckled "no, of course not, but I want to" He crawled up to me.  
He had his hand on my waist under my nightgown and the other on my face. I was so scared of what was about to happen, I panicked. When his lips touched mine I swung my knee up and into his crotch. He pulled his face from mine as all the air left his lungs. He spent less than a second in pain before his face turned to pure anger. Next thing I knew my face jolted sideways as his hand made contact with it. I felt my cheek begin to pulse and when I reached up to touch it it felt hot. He stood from the bed, he tried to stand tall, powerful, but the pain didn't let him.  
"You. Will. Regret that." He announced through his clenched jaw Still holding my cheek I watched him storm off and out of the room. My body relaxed into the pillows as warm tears filled my eyes. As they began to roll down my cheek I got myself back under the large blankets. I wiped the tears from my face and settled in touching my cheek lightly. I winced and then relaxed closing my eyes. I tossed and turned for what seemed like hours before I fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

I awoke the next morning well rested, though the left side of my face was still sore. The sun shone in though the windows giving the room a golden glow. I smiled at how peaceful my solidarity was and rolled over to glance at the clock. It was past noon already and I began to wonder what the cause for my silent morning was. I slipped my feet from under the covers and shivered at the cool air outside of the warm blankets. After taking a moment to yawn I walked to the bathroom and closed the door behind me locking it. I turned the knobs on the tub and let the water pour in. Pulling my nightgown over my head I stepped into the warm water. As I relaxed into the tub I turned on the jets, as they came to life bubbles started to form and I tilted my head back against the headrest. The noise from the jets drowned out any other noises and the feeling of the jets on my skin was wonderful. Letting my eyes shut I began to question why it was that Loki, over all these years, had still insisted on having me. He was a king now, and though he was hated by many there was a group of followers, surely he could have as many of those women as he wanted. My mind drifted back home, to my little house in that little town. I began to think about Steve and the visits we would have, how I miss him. Form there I began to wonder about all of the avengers, how they were doing. It had been over a week since Loki had been to Midgard, were they ok? Was New York ok? How was Thor? All of these of course were questions that I couldn't answer and so I gave up trying to. I don't know how long it had been when the jets flipped off, but I stood from the tub and grabbed a towel stepping onto the soft bath mat. I wrapped the fluffy green material around me and opened the door. I made my way across the large room to the dressing room. While I wasn't able to find anything too comfortable looking I did find something I thought was quite pretty. A short white dress with one sheer sleeve. I pulled it over my head, found some shoes, and headed to leave. I walked to the large door and turned the handle to step out of the room, but it wouldn't move. The door was locked. I tried again, I tried the other door, I pushed and pulled but it was no use. I placed the side of my face against the door to see if I could hear anything and then I knocked on the door "Hello?" nothing "hellooooooo" still nothing I let out a big sigh and stepped away from the door to stare at it. So what, now I was on lock down? Was this punishment for last night? Did it matter? I didn't like being locked up, but I had no choice. In a huff I snatched my book off the table and went out onto the balcony that looked over the city. On the uncomfortable bench I sat and read my book. I read and read and once the sun started to set and the air had a slight chill I went back inside. I sat on the bed and waited for anything to happen. I opened the window to let some fresh air in, I was so bored. Curling into a ball I laid back down on the bed and pulled a dark green throw blanket over me. The room was slightly cool and the blanket kept the chill off me, it was actually quite relaxing, so I let myself fall asleep. I didn't dream, it was a dark sleep, but it was comfortable none the less. Then, all of the sudden I had a very vivid dream. I was standing just a few feet from where I was asleep on the bed. I was watching myself sleep and Loki was next to where I stood. He turned to me and gave me an evil smirk before he slowly crated a green orb in his hands. With small hand gestures he controlled it's movement. It left from his hands and went towards where I was sleeping on the bed. It drifted around my head then pulled the blanket off me. Though I was only watching this I did feel slightly colder. Next it appeared at my hip and nudged me onto my back. I was starting to feel uncomfortable in this dream. The orb, one by one spread my legs and lifted the hem of the tight white dress so my white lacy panties were showing. Loki looked at me again and licked his lips. The orb ripped the top of my dress and pulled it down exposing my breasts and perky nipples. Lastly the orb hovered above me and dispersed over me, pulling my arms and legs apart on the bed and forming rope around my wrists and ankles. Startled, I woke from the dream to the unbelievable reality. It hadn't been a dream, somehow I watched Loki undress me with magic, and now here I was tied to the bed. I looked down over my body, past my pert pink nipples to the white lace of my underwear. Then I caught Loki's eyes as he hungrily scanned my body. "What's going on?" I asked "Nothing my queen, I just wanted to make sure you cooperated this time." He climbed onto the bed  
My body went stiff and if I could've moved I would've ran away, but I was bound, tightly. He kneeled between my legs and rubbed his hands together  
"You look exquisite my darling, fit for a king"  
"Loki..." I was about to tell him to stop this but he lowered his head and let his hot breath fan over my panties. I felt my insides tighten and release.  
"Oh my, look at you getting wet for me all ready" he said darkly  
I cursed my body. I felt the wet spot on my clit, which only made me wetter. I took a sharp breath as he ran his wet tongue all the way from the bottom of my pussy to the top on my underwear. Now my panties were completely soaked. My wetness mixed with his saliva, every time I moved my folds brushed against it and sent electricity through my body. He began lazily making circles over my clit. I whimpered  
"What is it my queen? Don't you like how I make you feel?" My leg flinched at his movements and he smiled "your body seems to enjoy my touch" he continued his circles  
"Loki" it came out as more of a moan and less protesting than I had hoped "please don't do this"  
He pushed his finger harder against my sensitive nub "sorry my darling, but you've left me no choice. I tried to take you nicely and you reacted so violently, this was my only choice" there was no sympathy in his voice  
"But.." I was about to protest again when he grabbed and ripped my panties across the crotch pushing them up and out of the way with the shambles of my dress. He looked up at me and my nipples caught his attention. Using the pad of his thumb he very gently brushed over the pink flesh. I bit my lip. Then he leaned forward and blew an ice cold breeze across it, making it more erect than I had ever seen my it. Next he lapped his warm tongue over it, the radicle difference in temperature making my thighs clench together around his knees.  
"Getting a little excited are we?" He licked then bit my nipple before standing back on his knees "if that excites you, then this will drive you absolutely mad" he removed his trousers and underwear, revealing his throbbing cock. I tried not to stare, I didn't want to give him the satisfaction, but he was so long.  
"Do you like what you see?" He asked wrapping his fingers around it one by one and grinning at me "answer my question" his voice was angry  
"Uh.." I couldn't speak  
"Answer me!!!" He struck me across the face  
"Yes! Yes I love it" I cried  
He pumped his length a few times before straddling my chest  
"Would you like to suck it?" He asked, his eyes warning that I'd best behave  
"Yes" my voice was quiet but it cracked  
"Then you must ask your king for what you desire"  
I didn't have much choice, I was tied to the bed, he was sitting on my chest dangling his penis above my face, so I succumbed.  
"Please, can I suck your dick, my king?" I added the name he loved in hopes that we could get this over with  
"Of course" he pumped his cock again and I watched a bit of pre cum form on his tip "what sort of king would I be if I denied my queen the satisfaction of sucking my hard cock"  
He reached down and used his thumb to pull down my bottom lip, and then my whole jaw. He lined himself up and plunged right into me. He immediately filled me so much he was slipping down my throat.  
"Close those pretty little lips tightly my darling"  
I did as I was told and he began to move himself in and out of my mouth. I tried to make as little contact as possible but he was quite big and my tongue began to rub his girth.  
"Mmm, that's right" he tangled his hand in my hair and rode my mouth fast and hard. It seemed as though the king hadn't had a release lately as he was coming undone rather quickly. I decided that I'd might as well move it along and so I began to suck.  
"Oh yes, you do know how to pleasure me, you must've been quite a whore on Midguard" I ignored the comment and sucked harder "Would you like my seed? Would you like my cum to cover the inside of your mouth?" He asked, teeth gritted  
I nodded "mmhmm"  
At that he held my head and fucked my face, I couldn't move, he just held me there firmly thrusting. He pushed his cock as far down my throat as he moaned and threw his head back  
"Aaaaahhhrgg" he kept his stiff penis in my throat and moments later his cum covered my throat.  
But he still wouldn't let me move, it was getting hard to breath. It felt like he came for a solid minuet, then he made one final whiplash inducing thrust and vacated my mouth. He stood from the bed and I gasped for breath as I tried to swallow all the cum left in my throat. Inhale, swallow, exhale, inhale, exhale.  
"Your lucky I'm finished with you for tonight" he shot "you'll have to learn to take more fucking than that" he walked around the bed and climbed in next to where I was tied up.  
With a flick of his wrist the restraints disappeared, but the marks would be there for a while. He took my waist from behind and pulled my back against his chest, nestling his cock between my butt cheeks. His grip was strong, and if I had tried to run I wouldn't even make it out of the room before he caught me. So, I just laid there as he pinched and twisted my nipples until he fell asleep, then I could finally relax. I looked down at the red mark on my nipple where he had bit me, past my dress to my still wet pussy and down to my bruised ankles. I was in shambles.


	5. Chapter 5

As the hand maidens bathed and dressed me the next morning they took special care to cover my ankles with a long dress and my wrists with sleeves and jewelry. I wondered what all the effort was for, would Loki not be pleased with my appearance all battered a bruised. He was the one, after all, that caused all the dark marks on my flesh. Whatever the reason I didn’t argue, I didn’t have it in me after last night. The blue dress I was put in hung very low and very loose on my otherwise bare chest, however comfortable it was I didn’t like it. I was escorted to the large dining hall, and when I came around the corner I found it was filled with very tall, very blue men. The room was loud with yelling and talking, that is until they noticed my presence. A silence fell and everyone sat down. I could see across the room, past maybe 40 frost giants, to where Loki was standing in front of them all. I was almost relieved to see him.  
“ah, come, my darling” he called waving me over  
My knees were shaky from the way these men were looking at me, up and down, but I headed towards him maneuvering my way through the crowd. When I got to Loki’s side he put an arm around my waist  
“Friends! May I introduce you to my queen, Grace!” he announced “These men will be staying with us as our guests in the palace for a few nights”  
The men smiled and stared at me shamelessly, making me incredibly uncomfortable.  
“Excuse my people” One of the tall men standing next to me spoke “it’s just that they have never seen such a beautiful creature come from Midguard” he took my hand and kissed it with cold lips “I am King Laufey of Joutenheim”  
Now identifying the man as Loki’s father I took a subconscious step back  
“She is a sight to behold, my son” Laufey chuckled at Loki  
“oh you have no idea” he replied smirking. The crowd of men applauded and cheered for Loki and he happily absorbed every ounce of adoration  
“Thank you for coming my pet” Loki whispered into my ear as his hand found my butt “you may wait in the kitchen” he gave my round bottom a small squeeze and dismissed me. I walked towards the kitchen, past Laufey, and I swear I could actually feel his eyes on me.  
Entering the safety of the kitchen my mind screamed that these men would be wandering freely around the palace. I waited in the kitchen, sitting out of the way of the maids, for a long while before Loki appeared  
“my my” he smirked touching my face “such a beautiful little thing you are” he ran his thumb over my bottom lip “the frost giants seem quite taken with you, and why shouldn’t they be” he hungrily looked down the neckline of my dress which barely covered my nipples.   
Dropping his thumb from my lip he slipped his fingers beneath my dress and gently pinched my nipple. A moan graced my lips as the slight amount of pleasure he created mixed with the pain from the bite mark still evident on the pink flesh. He leaned in close and whispered softly in my ear  
“If I did not have duties to attend to right now I would throw you over that counter and claim your body so many times you would forget your own name” he straightened himself up “however for now you will socialize with our guests”  
I looked up at him questioningly. He was going to throw me into the shark tank?  
He took my arm “now remember that these are our friends and you will be polite” he led me though the door and left my side. I stood by myself for only a moment before one of the men noticed I was alone and came over  
“Hello there” he sauntered over making his way dangerously close to me  
I looked up at him, then over at Loki who was harboring a menacing glare “hi” I turned back to the stranger  
“mmm” he licked his lips “she speaks. I’m Aud”  
“Grace” I looked down at the floor  
“Aud, don’t hog the mortal” another man came over “my name is Hymir”  
“hello” I smiled, he seemed much kinder than Aud  
“So, Grace, I have a question reguar-oops” the glass in Hymir’s hand fell onto the floor from his hand, though it did not shatter. “Oh my clumsiness, would you get that for me darling?”  
I smiled, poised “of course” I knelt down to pick up the glass and when I returned it to Hymir’s hand his red eyes locked with mine.  
“Thank you” he took it from me, softly brushing the side of my hand with his “you’re so kind” his words came out slowly  
I thought the action quite strange, but just then the fork in Aud’s hand slipped and clattered on the ground. I looked at him and he stared at me, so I did what I thought I was meant to and bent over to get it for him. As I was picking up the fork I looked at myself and noticed that in this position my breasts were completely visible to the tall men. I stood slowly taking in the information and silently placed the fork on Aud’s plate.  
“Gilling, come here” Aud called to the man behind him. The third man approached and stood between Aud and Hymir. Hymir took a spoon from who I assumed was Gilling and dropped it on the ground. My stomach turned, I knew what this was. They knew I was to be nice or I would be punished, and therefore had to play their dirty game. I willed the tears forming in my eyes to stay in and I knelt down. Hymir reached down and rubbed his big hand over his crotch and Gilling gently ran his fingers over my jaw. Soon there were three or four frost giants dropping things on the ground for me to pick up. I was sick to my stomach. Just as I stood for the sixth time I felt Loki’s hands on my waist from behind  
“my pet” I turned to him and he smiled “you may dismiss yourself to our chambers, we must talk of things that are unsuitable for a ladies ears”  
I was so thankful that he had showed up that I pulled him against me and sighed quickly "yes my king, of course my king” I smiled and quickly left the room.  
I took a deep breath heading down the halls to the bed chambers, so thankful that I was away from those horrible beings. I turned the final corner towards the room and bumped into someone  
“oh, sorry” I looked up at Laufey  
He smiled “no harm done darling”  
I smiled and went to go past him but he put his hand against the wall, stopping me  
“I was actually hoping to run into you”  
“oh?” I asked, trying to sound happy taking a step back, but again he blocked me by placing his other arm on the wall, trapping me.  
“yes, I wanted to tell you in private just how pretty you are, for a mortal”  
My heart was beating unbelievably fast “thank you, Laufey”  
“mmm. You may call me King Laufey” he licked his lips  
“of course” I corrected myself with shaky breath “King Laufey”  
He leaned in inches from my lips “maybe, one night, we will have the luxury of time and we can sneak away. I know we would both enjoy the opportunity to lay together.” His cold finger softly stroked my nipple through my dress “I’m sure I could fuck my name right out of your lips” while my nipple was becoming hard I wasn’t enjoying the feeling at all “I am due to speak with my son” his hand fell from my nipple and down my side “he will be expecting me” travelling to the center of my body he cupped my crotch “but perhaps some other time?”  
I shivered at his words and chocked out the last four I could manage “of course King Laufey”  
He backed away from me smirking and looked me over one more time before disappearing around the corner. Tears poured from my eyes I ran into the bed chambers. I locked the door behind me and ran collapsing on the bed in a ball. I pulled as many blankets over me as I could find and sobbed.  
When I finally pulled myself together enough to lower the blankets from my face the sun was just setting out the window. I wanted to stay in the bed, away from everything, but I also wanted to get as far away from it as I could get as the events from the night before repeated over and over again in my head. I felt like the best thing I could do was to get outside, get some fresh air, but I wasn’t sure if I would be able to. Sure I knew my way around the palace, but what I didn’t know was exactly how many frost giants were here, and whether or not Loki would actually let me outside.


	6. Chapter 6

I slowly and cautiously stuck my head out the bedroom door to see if the hallway was clear. When I was sure that there was no one that could see me I crept out of the room and down the hall to a cobblestone staircase I had never seen before. The stairs were steep and the air was damp and heavy. When I reached the bottom I found myself in the dungeons. I knew from down here that there was access to the gardens at the side and back of the palace, though it would mean walking past all the prisoners Loki kept. I began to feel nauseous as the smell of blood crept into my nose. Finally stepping out from the stairwell it became apparent where the smell was coming from. The cells were full of men, cramped into the small spaces and covered in cuts and bruises. The conditions were terrible, it was hot and the walls and floors were covered in dried blood. After a few seconds I felt eyes on me, and when I looked around everyones eyes were on me. I expected them to say something, to call to me or beg for freedom, but they remained silent. I took a step forward and every mans eyes shifted to follow me. I could nearly feel their gazes. There were at least 10 men to a cell, I doubt they all had room to lay down without being on top of one another. Their expressions were blank and somber, and the whole hall was eerily quiet. As I headed down the hall the sound of my walking and of the prisoners turning to keep me in their sight was all there was. The hall seemed to go on for miles. When I finally reached the door I turned back for a second and found their eyes still on me. I couldn't take it any longer so I pushed the door open. Light flooded in and I quickly left the dungeon letting the door slam behind me. The warmth of the sun on my skin instantly washed away my discomfort. It took my eyes a moment to adjust to the brightness of the outdoors, but when they did my face broke into a smile. The gardens were as beautiful as ever, the flowers blooming and the grass the perfect shade of green. I had know where to go in particular but I began to walk. I headed around to the back of the palace and found myself walking towards the small secluded gazebo off in the corner. It was a favourite place of mine and Loki's, surrounded by trees for privacy. Taking the two steps up I entered the familiar place. In the centre was a beautiful wooden bench, Loki would often move it too the side and lay a blanket on the floor so we could lay down. I would place my head on his chest and we would talk for hours. I sat on the bench and closed my eyes, feeling the warm breeze encircle me, remembering happier times. I'm not sure how long I say there before I was interrupted.  
"How did you get out here?" Loki's voice pulled me from my thoughts  
"Uh..." I was nervous that he would be upset "through the dungeons"  
A small smile pulled at his lips "clever girl" he whispered under his breath  
I looked away from him, feeling his gaze burn into me  
"Why would you come here?"  
"I...I don't know, I just wanted to come outside"  
He looked around "to visit a place we once spent so much time?"  
"Yes, I suppose, to remember the good times" I sighed  
He smiled wickedly "well perhaps we should make some new memories here" My eyes widened "you would like that wouldn't you" he walked over and stood right in front of me, his crotch inches from my face  
"Yes" I sighed  
"Yes what?"  
"Yes, my king"  
"That's better, now stand up"  
I reluctantly stood in front of him avoiding eye contact as he pushed my hair back behind my ear. His hand fell to my shoulder and began to move down my chest.  
"Look at me" he commanded  
I lifted my gaze to meet his just as his fingers brushed against my nipple. I sharply inhaled, but held my composure.  
"Do you remember the hours we used to spend out here" he pinched the hardening bud gently "you would lay in my arms..." He trailed off, thinking of something as he absentmindedly played with my nipple "what a fool I was" he chuckled darkly "that I never once ripped your clothes from you" now he aggressively twisted my nipple and I clenched my jaw as he looked at me once again "that I never fucked you raw against the wooden floor" he reached up and began to work on my other nipple in tandem  
"Loki..." I tried not to concentrate on the growing warmth in the pit of my stomach "you were being a gentleman, you were waiting for me to be ready" I touched his cheek softly  
He searched my eyes "and are you ready now?"  
Tears began to well in my eyes "no"  
His expression looked almost hurt but quickly changed "well, you best get yourself ready, because it's finally time I take you, that I claim you as mine"  
With that he pulled the neckline of my dress down exposing my breasts and sore pink nipples  
"So beautiful, everytime I lay my eyes on you..." He wasn't speaking to me, he was just...speaking  
"Do you know how long I have waited to feel you, to watch you wither in pleasure and moan my name? To taste your exquisite essence and to breathe the intoxicating fragrance of your skin? I will be denied no longer"  
His tongue expertly danced around my nipple, his hot breath fanning over it. I desperately wanted him to take it into his mouth, to soothe the raw flesh, but I wouldn't ask, I wouldn't beg.  
"Ah but you need not say what you want out loud..." He gently lapped at the pink bud and encircled it with his warm saliva  
"Loki!" I moaned for only a moment then I was angry realizing how he knew what I wanted "do not read my mind!" I yelled taking a step back  
"I shall read your mind if I please" he smirked, then it turned to a scowl as he focused on me, trying once again to read my thoughts "ah yes, what a fool I was to teach you how to close your mind so tightly" he chuckled darkly "it matters not at this moment" he took my wrist and stood behind the bench, pushing my knees against it, forcing me to bend over. He lifted my dress up onto my back and roughly pulled my underwear down. I was bent so far that my pussy was facing straight back towards him and I soon felt his tongue prodding my folds  
"Mmm" he moaned softly "you taste even better than I had imagined"  
His tongue felt amazing on my hot pussy and when he reached around and tweaked one of my nipples again I couldn't help the small moan that escaped my lips  
"Those are the sounds I have waited for" he slipped a finger into my now dripping cunt and began to feel around my insides "such a tight little cunt, but I will soon stretch your walls" he pulled his finger away and left a long, wide, lick all the way along my lips  
My hands landed on the seat of the bench to hold myself from falling. My breasts hung against my chin and the warm breeze against my wet mound only coaxed more wetness from it  
"Watching you squirm only makes me harder" I heard him undo his pants "but I long to feel you" he pressed only the head of his length into my wet core before pulling it back out "mmm, devine" he moaned  
He repeated his actions a few more times, my walls wrapping around him, adjusting with each movement. Finally he pushed in further  
"Ah" it was a short sound, a mix of pain and pleasure  
He leaned forward to put his lips next to my ear "don't fight yourself, let my name fall from your mouth" and with that he buried himself as deep into me as he could  
"Loki" I called. I wasn't a virgin, but his length was unbelievable  
"That's it my pet, my name sounds so good on your tongue" he bit my ear softly and began to rock in and out. The pressure of his teeth increased as he continued to move. His hot panting breath on my ear was intoxicating. There was no way to get out of this and so I snapped my eyes shut. I made sure to keep my mind locked from Loki as the scene appeared in my brain to try to soothe my discomfort in the moment.  
_It was Loki and I, here where we are, doing what we're doing, but it's different. I am laying on a soft blanket on the floor, Loki on top of me. The stars in the sky the only light. He is brushing my hair from my face as he pumps in and out of me. Our bodies are slick with sweat but we don't mind, he sucks and kisses my nipple as he moves. One hand is placed on my hip and the other is circled around my head with his arm, as if to keep me from being pushed away. His forehead drops to mine, his eyes closed and his breath hot on my face_  
_"I...I want this to never end, I want to stay like this forever" he whispers, his mind scrunched up with concentration "you're too good, I can't, I can't hold on"_  
_I lift my hands to his hair "Loki, it's ok, let go" I whisper_  
_"Shit, I love you" he says before he cums, a string of profanities leaving his lips_  
"What do you think of?" He asked harshly "let me into your mind"  
I could feel his presence, trying to find my thoughts "No!"  
"Why?!" He yelled, still pounding into me "what do you not want me to see?!" He stopped abruptly "it's another man, isn't it?!" I was silent "ISN'T IT?!" Again I said nothing "well if that's how your going to treat your king I need not be kind to you any longer" he pulled my head back by my hair and began a relentless pace. I could feel my insides growing sore and bruised  
"Say my name" he spat "say my name so I know you only think of me" he pulled my head sharply back  
"Ah, Loki" I cried  
"Again"  
I had no choice, I knew if he wanted he could kill me right there "Loki"  
"AGAIN!!!" He shouted  
"LOKIIIII" he rammed into me and I felt him pulse, pushing a load of hot cum deep into my cunt  
He pulled out of me and spun me around "you _will _learn to obey your king" he pulled his hand back and slapped me across the face before letting go of my hair and leaving.__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took some inspiration from Loki's Dirty Whispers for this one.


	7. Chapter 7

Loki kept his distance after that. I'd hardly seen him for days. To be honest I was relieved that he didn't join me in bed that night, afraid of what he might do. The second night he wasn't there was a tad more concerning. Tonight, the third night, I sat out on the balcony staring up to the sky, I was restless. I refused to entertain the idea that it might be the lack of Loki's presence, but I couldn't think of a better reason. My stomach grumbled and I decided I needed a snack. I made the trek down to the kitchen in search of food.  
"M'lady, are you lost?" Cleay asked as I stepped in the room  
"No, just looking for something to eat" I replied  
"Of course, can I escort you to the dining hall and have something prepared for you?"  
"No, thank you" I was going to ask for some kind of fruit when I heard noise coming from the banquet hall "is there something going on in there?" I asked  
"Yes m'lady, the king is still in council with the frost giants"  
"Oh" I nodded absentmindedly  
I think she continued to speak but I stopped listening. I headed across the kitchen and into the next room. From there I could get outside into the garden and creep back towards the banquet hall where it was open to the outdoors. I crept along side of the palace wall getting closer to the opening to the large room. There was a crevice right next to it where I could hide, around a small corner. I peered around the corner into the hall to see what was going on. Loki stood at the front of the room next to Laufey, a large board on the wall behind them. I couldn't hear what they said, but Loki looked stressed, exhausted. I wondered where he had been sleeping. I was watching Loki, and so when Laufey saw me from the corner of his eye it took me a moment to see and duck back around the corner. I prayed that he didn't come find me, that he left me alone. I had no such luck though, he appeared outside only moments later looking around for me. Unfortunately he did find me and walked over smirking.  
"Grace, my queen" he said smoothly, coming closer to me than I expected  
"King Laufey" I greeted, trying to steady my voice  
"What a sight you are tonight" he took a strand of my hair between his fingers "any man would have trouble keeping their hands off you"  
"Thank you, King Laufey"  
He brought my hair to his nose and took a deep breath "your king"  
"Excuse me?"  
"Call me your king" he replied, eyes still closed  
"But Lo-"  
"Shhh" he cut me off "my son is no king, not next to me" he pushed his face into my neck  
"King Lau...my king, I must return to my chambers"  
He hand gripped my wrist, squeezing roughly "I'm sure you could spare a few minuets for your king" his other hand found my neck, pushing against it and keeping any air from getting in. I was in panic mode, I knew Loki would be mad if he saw this, but would he be mad at Laufey or myself. As he let go of my neck to trail his hand down my body he gripped my hip with outrageous force, I expected my bones to shatter. I thought of calling out to Loki, but would the punishment be worse than this. Laufey bit down on my neck, no doubt drawing blood, and my mind made the decision for me  
"LOKI!" I screamed  
"Shhh" Laufeys hand shot up to my mouth, covering it "you little whore" he wrapped a hand around my throat again, much rougher than the last time "you will be quiet and you will please me, that is your job" he spat  
My pulse was racing as I fought for oxygen, he removed his hand from my mouth and pulled down my dress, bitting my nipple  
"AHHHHHH" I screamed, not as loud as I might have hoped as he was still blocking my airway  
"Bitch" he punched me in the stomach, knocking all the wind out of me. He grabbed my hand and placed it on his crotch, his dick hard and waiting "ohh, that's a good girl"  
"Grace?" Loki's voice broke through the sound of Lufeys ragged breathing  
He immediately stopped his movements and covered my mouth "you will stay here and you will keep quiet until we have returned inside or I will find you and I will do much worse than I have today, and not even Loki will be able to stop me, is that understood?" He whispered  
I nodded my head, unable to speak  
He straightened himself out before going around the small corner  
"Son" he greeted  
"What are you doing out here?" Loki asked  
"Ah, just a bit of fresh air" he replied  
Their voices began to fade as they disappeared back into the banquet hall.  
I quickly pulled my dress back up and ran back to my bed chambers, willing the tears not to fall until I was safely behind those closed doors.  
~~~  
I was in bed, not asleep but pretending to be, when I heard Loki come in. He closed the door behind him and I head him shuffle around, likely discarding all clothing but his underwear, before he climbed into the bed next to me. He read some kind of book for a while and when he set it down he softly stroked my hair, the gesture seemed loving. Suddenly, however, I felt his body stiffen, and he then moved all my hair off my neck. I also froze, I knew what he was looking at, but what I didn't know was how he would react. A gentle sob escaped my throat.  
"I know you are awake" he whispered softly "turn around and look at me"  
I did as I was told, his eyes quickly found my bruised neck, his eyes quickly became angry "What is this? Bruises, marks, not placed by my hand? Who dares to mark what is mine in such a way?" He asked pulling the covers from my body and finding the marks on my wrists and hip "Tell me, tell me who dares to touch you as only I am allowed. Tell me and I will care for you, heal you. Only to mark you one thousandfold so no man shall dare try to lay claim to you again"  
My body shook with a sob and he quickly gathered me up in his arms, holding me to his chest.  
"Shhh, quiet now, I'm here, no one shall hurt you" he continued to stroke my hair "now, tell me who did this to you"  
"I...I can't" I trembled  
"Of course you can" he kissed the top of my head and a warmth spread through my body  
"It...it was king Laufey" I squeezed my eyes shut, fearing the worst  
The tips of his fingers dug into my skin gently "you're sure of this"  
"Yes, he touched me, he hurt me, he told me to address him as my king..."  
Now he was mad, seething even. He set me down next to him, laying my head against the pillows  
"Lay still" he waved his hand over my body and all the marks Laufey had left were gone, then gently brushed a fallen tear from me cheek "I'll return later" he got up and began to walk away  
"Loki" he stopped "could you uh...would you stay, instead?"  
His head tilted slightly "in bed with you?"  
I nodded pulling the covers up over my legs. He looked towards the door then back at me. His face looked confused, a mix of anger and sympathy and his fists were balled  
"of course" he finally breathed  
He got back into the bed and I tentatively nuzzled my face into his chest, breathing him in. His arms slowly found their place around me, pulling me closer to him. I took a shaky breath  
"Do not fear, I will not let this happen again" he whispered  
The pad of his thumb made little circles on the small of my back, it was something he used to do often when we would cuddle, it was comforting.  
He spoke so quietly I almost didn't hear him "I'm sorry"  
My eyebrows furrowed as I looked up to him "for what?"  
He kissed my forehead "no one but I shall touch you like that again, ever"  
On one hand the idea was comforting, him protecting me, but who was going to protect me from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took some inspiration from Loki's Dirty Whispers...again.


	8. Chapter 8

When I woke the next morning I was alone. Loki was nowhere to be found in the room. I curled up tighter in the comfort of the green comforter, I felt safe where I was, I knew Loki wouldn't let anyone into our room. The room was silent, though come to think of it everything was silent, I didn't hear a sound. I stood slowly and stepped out onto the balcony. The sun was warm on my skin but as I looked down to the gardens there wasn't a soul in sight. Usually by this time of day it was filled with people. I headed to the dressing room and pulled on a flowy green dress and headed out into the hallways. Once again it was silent, not even a maid running about. I was becoming concerned. When I headed to the kitchens a small woman ran past me  
"Excuse me" I called  
She turned and her eyes widened "my queen, my apologies, I hadn't see you there" she curtsied  
"Where is everyone?" I asked  
"Outside my queen, the king is making a speech" she replied  
"Oh?"  
"Yes, shall I escort you there?"  
"Yes, please"  
I followed the woman through the halls and out the front of the palace. There, a couple hundred feet in front of me was Loki, standing with his back to me and addressing a rather large crowd. I couldn't hear him so I began to make my way closer to where he stood  
"...and so for that he shall pay with his life" his voice was bitter, angry  
My eyebrows knit together. The crowd, made up mostly of frost Giants, erupted in applause. King Laufey was being pulled toward Loki, his hands cuffed behind his back. That's when it clicked, he was going to kill Laufey for what he had done.  
"Have you anything to say to your people before you loose your head?" Loki spat at the restrained man as he knelt and held his neck over a literal chopping block  
I started to run  
"Only that my life is well worth the opportunity to play with your little whore" he spat  
I watched as he clenched his hands into fists and nodded to a man dressed in black  
"LOKI" I called as I approached him from behind  
He turned angry, but his face softened as he made eye contact with me  
"My queen, you are just in time to witness the death of your abuser" he smiled  
"No Loki" I protested as he placed his hands on my shoulders "this isn't necessary"  
The frost Giants in the crowd booed, but the Asgardians were clearly frightened  
"Oh but it is, this man, my father, took it upon himself to touch something that is mine, it must be clear that this is unacceptable" his voice rose  
"Loki" I kept my voice down so that only he could hear me "your scaring your people"  
His eyebrows furrowed "no, they are pleased"  
"The frost Giants perhaps, but the Asgardians, they're frightened"  
He turned back to the crowd and focused in on the natives of this world  
"But why would they be frightened?"  
"Because, this is not how they have ever been ruled, there are courts and prisons, not beheadings in the street" I pleaded  
"The frost Giants are a rough people" he whispered leaning into my ear "a trial would never stand, I'm sorry, but this must be done"  
I sighed "at least address the Asgardians, let them know why this must be done"  
He turned "my people, more specifically the people of Asgard, I understand that this is not the traditional way a criminal is dealt with, however Laufey is of Joutnheim, and he must face Jotun justice." He turned to me and took my arm leaning in to whisper again "I am truly sorry my queen, but it is important that they see you as a strong figure also, you must watch this"  
He took my hand and motioned for the man in black to continue his duties. He stood beside Laufey and raised a large blade before plummeting it down, separating his head from his body. My hand squeezed Loki's as Laufeys head fell to the ground. I tried desperately to hold my composure, not let it falter in front of the crowd. The frost Giants cheered and Loki smiled  
"May I go?" I whispered through shaky breath  
"Yes, my pet" he let go of my hand  
I tried not to rush away, but I moved as fast as I thought was acceptable. Once in the privacy of our bed chambers I sunk into the bed and began to cry. It wasn't long before the door opened and closed again and I felt a body next to mine on the bed  
"I have sent the frost Giants home. Truly I am sorry" he put his hand on my hip and my body stiffened "please do not be mad at me"  
"How could I not be mad at you" I said angrily, sitting up and wiping away my tears "since I've gotten here you've forced me to marry you, you've raped me, I've been molested by a frost giant and you've beheaded people and made me watch"  
His face turned angry "well if you would cooperate I wouldn't have to force myself on you!"  
"I will never cooperate!" I yelled  
"Then I will continue the way things have been" he put a knee on either side of my pelvis and pushed me back into the pillow kissing me, he pulled away and smirked. When he leaned forward again to kiss me I closed my eyes.  
_"mmm" the sound rumbled softly on my lips as he pulled away. My eyes flickered open to the handsome face of my Loki. The sky was dark but the stars shone brightly. He brushed my check with the pad of his thumb._  
_"Oh how I wish we could always be this close. Nothing between us." He placed his hand on my hip and pulled me a couple inches closer to him so there was no space between us. He looked out at the sky from the balcony we were on, I looked up at him. "just you and me, undivided. Watching the stars and the moon from the same place instead of worlds apart. One day you'll stay with me, won't you?" He looked down at me, eyebrows furrowed  
 ____"I don't know, I've never thought about it...but I suppose, I could, if you wanted me too"  
 ____"I would want nothing more in my entire life" he responded  
 ____I smiled.  
 ____It was the last night we had spent together that we were truly happy. A few tears of happiness slid down my cheek.  
 ___When I opened my eyes I quickly realized the tears had been real, but the rest of it was not. Loki sat on his knees in front of me, frowning.  
I furiously wiped the tears from my face, then looked back up at him. He was silent, it was like a staring contest and he looked utterly puzzled.  
I sniffled "what?" My voice cracked  
"In your mind, you hate me. And yet when you close your eyes for comfort it is me you see." He was truly confused  
"Stop looking through my mind like it's some kind of library for you to explore" I tried to sound angry but my body was still in crying mode  
"Why?"  
"Because it's not yours to pick through" this time my voice came across a little angrier I stood and walked away from him  
"But you are my wife, I will do what I please" he stated  
I clenched my fists, turned on my heels and screamed "NO YOU WILL NOT!!!"  
He was taken aback, so was I. Neither of us were expecting that. I entered the bathroom and locked the door before collapsing in a corner and crying. I was alone for only a few minutes before the lock clicked and he walked in. He sat on the counter.  
"Why does your mind contradict you like that?"  
"It doesn't, you do" I whispered  
He got off of the counter and sat on the floor across from me  
"Why?"  
He seemed calm enough and I chuckled "because...I loved you once"  
He was silent but his eyes were wide "love"  
I gave him the silence he needed to process what he had just heard.  
"You?...loved me?" He asked  
I simply nodded, unable to say it again  
"Unfaltering hatred" he whispered  
I looked at him questioningly  
"That's all you feel for me, unfaltering hatred"  
I smiled "I am thankful you cannot read me completely"  
"Can't I?" he smiled and then frowned "how is it that you loved me and now you hate me so wholly?"  
"It was many years ago, I am no longer the woman I was, you are no longer the man you were"  
"You have not changed that much" he looked down at his hands smiling  
"No?"  
"Look at you, you're as hard headed as the day I met you" He chuckled "...you look exhausted"  
I rolled my eyes "thanks"  
He stood up and offered me his hand "get some rest" he pulled me close to him and held me tight before guiding me towards the bed. He took my face in his hands and gently kissed my forehead. When he pulled away I was in my night clothes, and so was he. He walked around to the other side of the bed and got in as I did as well. We laid facing each other, looking into each other's eyes. He placed his hand on the pillow in between us. Tentatively I reached up and laced my fingers with his. When I looked back up he was watching or hands together, moving to get comfortable. He looked comfortable and so I closed my eyes  
"Goodnight, my queen" he whispered


	9. Chapter 9

It was about a week later when I had wandered into the kitchen. The smell was intoxicating and it pulled me down the halls until I reached the room. It was alive with women cooking and talking. It smelled of pies and pastries, cookies and cakes...it was the best thing I had ever smelt. When I peered my head through the door one of the maidens saw me and cleared her throat as she curtsied, earning the rest of the women's attention. They also curtsied when they saw me.   
"Pardon me my queen" one of the women started "have you gotten lost?"  
I looked around "no, well kind of, I smelled the pie an-"  
"Well this is no place for a queen, I'll bring some of the pie for you in the dinning room" the woman interrupted   
"Bu-" she turned me around and motioned for me to follow her back through the halls  
I followed her back to where she insisted I go, and when we arrived in the dinning hall Loki was there with a plate of food in front of him and a book next to it. I dismissed the woman and tuned back to the dinning hall. It looked so familiar, so much like a sight I might have seen when we were younger. He was dressed simply, in just his green tunic and black pants. His hair was loose and wavy, encircling his face as he continued to read. Every now and then he would, without looking away from his book, reach his hand over to the plate and pick up a grape, popping it in his mouth. He looked neither happy nor upset, just genuinely interested in the words in front of him. He always loved to read, and he spent a lot of time doing so. I finally sighed and made my way into the hall, heading towards where he was sitting at the far end. As I approached he glanced up and saw me  
“Grace” he looked up, straightening up in his chair  
“Hello” I replied, taking a seat  
He furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head slightly “is there something I can do for you?”  
I smiled “no, the maidens were just going to bring me some pie”  
His mouth curved into a smile “you’re going to eat…here?”  
“yes…unless you’d like me not too” I looked over at him  
“No! Please…stay” he burst  
I smiled and nodded  
There was a comfortable silence for a moment before someone brought me my pie  
“I’m actually glad you’re here” he started as I took a bite “I will be leaving this afternoon”  
“huh? Where?”   
“I must go to Joutenheim, spend some time there” he explained  
“oh” I replied  
I began to think of the freedom of him being gone, of all the things I could do. Then my mind began to wander to what might happen to me without Loki’s protection and a castle full of on edge and entitled men  
“how long will you be gone for?” I asked  
“about a week or so” he ate another grape  
“oh” I sighed and looked down at my plate  
“Grace?” I looked up and we locked eyes, he wore an amused and confused face “would you like to come with me?”  
“oh…I…um, yes” I stumbled over my words  
He smiled, closing his book “alright then, I will make the arrangements” and with that he left the room   
~~~  
It was only a few hours later, once the sun had set, that Loki and I were standing in our room gathering some things to take with us.   
“are you ready my queen?” he asked from the doorway  
“yes, I think so” I replied walking over to him with my things  
Quickly a man came and took them from me and Loki offered me his arm. I took it and together we walked down to the bridge and across to the Bifrost. As we stood in the spherical room Loki handed me a coat from one of the men carrying things  
“put this on, it’s going to be cold”  
I did as I was told and we stood at the ready  
Soon the lights encircled us and we were flying away. My head was spinning and I closed my eyes, knowing it would past, and it soon did.  
We stood outside and everything was white. The ground was covered in snow, the sky was a pale grey that looked white, the sky was a complete cover of white clouds and the snow fell in large white snowflakes. It was oddly comfortable. I turned and found everyone else and some men approaching us where we were.   
“Prince Loki” they greeted “come, this way”  
We followed the large blue men towards a large and elaborate grey stone castle. As we approached a door there were 4 jotunns guarding it. When we got inside, and it was warmer, there were men to take our coats and one, larger than the others, entered the room.  
“Loki, our prince” he kneeled onto one knee  
“come now” Loki stepped forward and took the mans hand motioning for him to stand up “there’s no need for formalities brother”  
…brother?! Surely it couldn’t be, I’d never heard him address anyone that way except for Thor  
“it is good to have you home” the man replied standing “where is King Laufey?”  
“I’m afraid I had to behead him, he tried to take something of mine” Loki explained  
My muscles tensed as I waited for the other man who, from what I had gathered, was also Lauefys son, to explode. I waited for him to yell, to fight…but nothing  
“was it something of value?” he asked  
“Yes! The most important thing I have…my wife, my queen”  
The man nodded and smiled “it was your right to protect what is yours and to carry out our laws and justice...I suppose that makes you our king”   
“I suppose, thank you” Loki turned to me and motioned for me to join him “speaking of whom…this is my wife, Grace. Grace, this is my brother, Byleistr”  
I looked up at the large man and tried not to look completely shocked and intimidated   
“Grace, you are even more beautiful than my brother had described. It is an honor to welcome you to our world as our queen” he bowed his head  
I was shocked, it had never occurred to me that I would be the queen of two worlds…of both Asgard and Jotunheim. It felt heavy, it weighed on my shoulders and constricted my chest.   
“Thank you” I replied, feeling unable to breathe   
I saw Loki watching me from the corner of my eye  
“Come, lets go rest” he suggested taking my arm, I nodded  
We walked towards our room with Byleistr, he and Loki discussing what needed to be done in the next few days. I wasn’t really paying attention, I couldn’t, not with the halls and windows and sights that were passing by us as we walked. This place, this palace, it was breathtaking. Out every window there were spires of ice reaching up to the sky. In the moonlight they reflected colors of blue, purple, and green. The moon itself, somehow, shone brighter in the Jotun sky then in any other sky I’d ever seen. We stopped in front of two very large very old wooden doors. They were covered in scratches and scrapes, evidence of their age, and reached up to the ceiling.   
“Goodnight Byleistr” I heard Loki say as I pulled myself back into the moment  
When I turned to face him he opened the door and allowed me to enter the room. It was extravagant, not at all like the rooms in Asgard, but palatial in its own right. The far end of the room was a rounded wall of tall windows, the view breathtaking. The walls were covered in cobblestone and the floor was a dark weathered wood. A large bed sat in the middle of the room with cream and red linens. A grand headboard sat at the head with the same dark wood as the floor. The room was dimly lit by a large fireplace facing the bed and there was a large fluffy rug on the floor.   
“What do you think?” Loki asked, moving past me  
“It’s…it’s quite breathtaking” I responded walking further into the room  
I noticed to the side there was a door to a private washroom.   
“Really?” he asked amused “I was not sure you would like it”  
“Well, it is different” I yawned  
He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall smiling “you’re tired, there are night clothes for you in the washroom”  
I headed towards the room “ok”  
I stripped my clothes once the door closed behind me, and pulled on the blue nightgown that was on the counter. I opened the door and peeked out into the room. He sat, his back resting against the headboard now in only green pajamas, and watched me as I slowly crept out of the washroom. I was less than comfortable in the nightgown, it was fairly minimal as far as coverage went, and I was nervous of what his plans were when I returned to the bedroom. As I stood in the door frame, afraid to move, he looked me over with heavy, lust filled eyes. My heart rate quickened, and I shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other.   
His tongue darted out to wet his lips before he smiled “I never thought that I would have the opportunity to share this with you. My past, my home, this place…but here you are standing before me, a vision in your blue nightgown”   
A small smile pulled at the corner of my lips. He motioned for me to come to bed and I approached slowly, sitting on my knees next to him.  
His hand softly grazed my bare thigh and rubbed slowly back and forth. He watched his hand and what he was doing with great concentration, and spoke as I watched his focused face  
“Let me hold you. For now, I desire nothing more than for you to lie in my arms, your heart beating next to mine, your beautiful, glowing eyes looking up into mine, and to breathe in your intoxicating scent”  
Finally, he looked up and locked his eyes on mine. Slowly I moved my legs out from under me and laid down next to him, my head on his chest and my leg draped over his. I placed my hand on his stomach as he sighed and stroked my hair gently.   
Again, I was taken back to our younger years, when we would spend our time less than an arm’s length apart. I let my heart believe for a moment that we could be back there.   
“so frustrating…” he sighed quietly, his voice tired  
“hmm?”  
“you keep your mind so locked” I could tell he was falling asleep “everything so hidden…”  
A smile pulled at my lips as I sat up and looked back at him. His pale eyelids covering his eyes, his hair fanned over a pillow, his chest rising and falling. I pulled a red blanket from the foot of the bed and laid back down, pulling it over us.


	10. Chapter 10

As my mind slowly came into consciousness the first sound I heard was a steady heartbeat. Not too quick, not too slow, a comforting thumping rhythm. I kept my eyes closed but began to stir. My fingers stretched out, and then my legs. Finally, I opened my eyes to the cool colors of the morning shining in from the windows. My head, I realized, was still on Loki’s chest, and so was my hand. His pants were low on his waist and his left arm was wrapped around the back of my neck and rested on my waist, his right hand held a book over where I was sleeping. I groaned internally and shifted my head upwards. His hair was a wavy mess, but his eyes were bright and concentrated on the words in front of him.  
“Good morning my queen” he noticed my movements and turned his attention to me  
“morning” I grumbled  
His chest shook with a small chuckle as he set his book down on the table next to the bed “why so unhappy?”  
“just tired” I yawned  
“it is past noon” he smiled  
“what? Really?” I pulled the blanket over my shoulder “shouldn’t you be up and doing…king things?”  
He shifted down, laying next to me “perhaps, but I did not want to wake you”  
“oh, I would’ve been fine, you didn’t have to do that”  
“No, but I wanted to” he pulled me into his side and I rested my head on his chest once again  
A gentle silence fell over us as I, again, listened to the beat of his heart. His body was warm in contrast to the air in the room, and so I pushed up as close to him as I could. I placed my hand on his chest and he placed his hand on mine. His other hand found it’s way to my hair and twirled the ends around his finger. Everything around us became completely unimportant. The feel of his skin on mine was rather addicting, and the fact that he seemed perfectly content laying in silence was a side of him I hadn’t seen in quite a while.  
I don’t know how long it had been but Loki groaned angrily when there was a knock on the door  
“My king…it is time-“  
“I know I know” he cut the man behind the door off “I’ll be there shortly”  
He kissed the top of my head and tightened his grip on me  
“I wish I could stay with you today” he sighed, getting up  
I smiled “with me or in bed?”  
He paused for a moment “…both”  
I laughed and laid my head back down on the pillow  
He disappeared into the bathroom for a few minuets before he returned dressed and ready  
“Mmm” he crossed the room “you look so wonderfully comfortable”  
I nodded in response  
“I must go now, but if you should want for anything simply ask the guards outside the door, they have all been instructed to do whatever you ask of them”  
“Mhm” I groaned, already falling back to sleep

 

After he left the room I didn’t sleep for much longer. Soon I was up and dressed, standing in front of the large windows, watching the world outside. The sun had trouble breaking through the grey clouds, and where it did the light flurry of snow distorted it even more. It was not ideal, downright dreary. Yet something about it was so profoundly beautiful that I continued to watch the snow fall. I thought of Loki, I thought of Bylestier, and I, with a shiver, thought of Laufey. I wondered what kind of family they were, if they were happy. If Loki would have loved his Jotun brothers as much as I know he does Thor. I wondered what Loki had looked like as a baby and who he might have been had he been raised here with his parents.  
I had hoped these were all things I might be able to find out if I looked, and what better place to look than the library. Though, come to think of it, I didn’t even know if there was a library in the palace. I walked over to the door and slowly opened it. Just as Loki had said, there were two Jotuns guarding the door, and they both turned to look at me.  
“Hi” I waved sheepishly “um, I was wondering, is there a library in the palace?”  
One grunted to the other, and that one smiled “we have a record room, it functions mostly the same”  
I smiled and fully came out from behind the door “would you be able to show me where that is?”  
“Of course, my queen” he nodded  
I stepped to follow him and he started down the hall.  
I, again, was drawn to the windows, the snow and ice dancing in the wind on the other side.  
“Is it always cold here?” I asked absentmindedly  
He laughed “everyday of my life”  
“Are you very old?” As the last word left my mouth I slapped my hand over it  
He looked down at me with a smirk “are you?”  
“Well, no, not really, I’m only 26”  
“You are a child.”  
“Am I?”  
“My son is 107”  
My eyes widened “wow”  
He continued to guide me around corners until we finally arrived at an open doorway. I stepped inside the large room, light coming in from the very tall windows. There were stacks of books, the walls were haphazardly adorned with old maps and pictures, and writings in a language that I didn’t even recognize. I walked up to the closest shelf and pulled a book from it. By luck it was written in English, it was called Poetic Edda. It didn’t really sound like what I was looking for so I put it back and began to brush past books looking for one that caught my eye. While none of the spines ever did intrigue me, an old picture nailed to the wall did. It was on old worn parchment, and the corners were faded. I couldn’t tell if it was a painting, a picture, a drawing, or some kind of illusion that combined several of them. I recognized instantly Laufey, because my skin began to crawl. He leaned against a large wall of ice, looking completely content in the wind and snow the image depicted. I was far more interested in what he was holding though. In his arms was a baby, blue as a clear night sky, with black markings all over his body. Fire red eyes looked back at me, and yet I recognized them. I had only seen Loki in his Jotun form once, but it was from behind and without his knowing. However I was sure the infant in the picture was him. His face was so carefree, it even expressed a small smile. I found myself smiling back at the boy.  
I heard Bylestier speak to someone from the door of the library.  
“There you are” Loki appeared in the room “what are you doing in here?”  
“I was looking for pictures or books that spoke of your family or the history of the Jotun’s”  
He frowned “why would you want to find that?”  
“Because, I would like to know about this world, where you came from” I explained  
“...but why?” He was utterly confused  
“Because I am your wife” I turned and pointed to the picture “is that you?”  
He looked up at the image “yes”  
“Well why is it in here?” I asked  
“Because this is where it belongs” he replied growing tired of my questions “enough of this nonsense, come” he took my wrist and pulled me away  
“No” I dug my heels into the ground “I want that picture”  
He turned angrily “for what?!”  
“So we can put it somewhere it will be seen” I crossed my arms over my chest  
“No” he replied trying to grab my hand “you will do no such thing”  
I kept my hand away from him. He growled and put his arms around my waist hoisting me over his shoulder.  
“Loki?!?!” I cried  
“I haven’t got time for your childish games” he spat leaving the library and carrying me down the hall  
“Put me down!” I hit his back with my fist  
“No” he replied simply  
I continued to hit him as hard as I could, and in doing so noticed the way his ass was moving as he walked. Most of the time he wore a cape or a cowl, covering it from view, but it was quite nice. It flexed and relaxed with each long stride, firm but smooth.  
As we entered our room he spoke  
“Have you calmed down?” He asked  
“Yes” I replied through gritted teeth  
He threw me onto the bed and went into the washroom. I pushed my hair from my face furiously as I sat up.  
“Go change” he called from the doorway  
“What?” I asked  
“Go change, make yourself presentable” he replied  
“Why? Wait! What’s wrong with the clothes I’m wearing?!” I yelled  
“Nothing in particular” he came out into the room and walked across towards the closet, then stopped and looked at me “...had I the time I would rip them from you now” he licked his lips then disappeared into the closet  
I stomped into the huge closet behind him and, as I was about to yell, was met with the sight of the back side of Loki’s body, bare of any clothing.  
All the sudden he turned and faced me “you must change”  
I instantly made sure my mind was locked tight, then allowed myself a quick second to look at his bare abdomen, the dark line of hair that protruded below his belly button, and then the always impressive length of his cock. Apparently I spent one to many seconds indulging myself because a smug smirk graced his face  
“Why at this moment is your mind so locked away?” He walked over to me “what have you to hide from me?” He brushed his thumb over my cheek, his black wavy hair falling over his shoulders and moving with each breath  
“I have nothing to hide from you” I replied  
“Your cheeks turn such a pretty shade of pink when you lie to me. Try again”  
He had me backed into the corner, literally, and once he had said it I could feel my cheeks start to burn even brighter.  
When he noticed he smiled “having trouble?” he asked, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear “perhaps it is because your lying that you’re having trouble. So why don’t you just be honest with me?” he took a step closer and gently rested his hands on my sides, moving his face into my neck and whispering “tell me, tell me how much you want me. Tell me how much you long to be beneath me. Tell me how much you dream of me. Tell me how much I have ruined any other lover for you, just as you have done for me.”  
I rolled my head back, eyes closed and lips parted  
“Admit to me that I am at the center of your darkest fantasies. That, even when your alone, it is the thought of me that guides you to ecstasy”  
His moist lips grazed over my skin as he spoke and my heart rate picked up  
He kissed the corner of my jaw “Admit it my love, you want me” he whispered “do it, touch me, you know I love the feeling of your fingertips on my skin”  
I couldn’t help myself. My right hand reached up and brushed against his firm abdomen, feeling his perfect skin. His eyes closed at the feeling.  
“So little, it takes so little, a sexy smirk, a lingering touch, and I am completely yours” he rested his forehead on my shoulder  
I let my other hand graze his skin and his gripped my hips. I ran my hands up and down his sides gently, then up his abdomen and over his nipples, which were hard as I touched them  
“Mmm, don’t stop” he sighed  
Slowly I lowered my hands back down his body and cursed myself for wanting, so bad, to touch his cock. As I glanced down I noticed his length becoming hard, and I gave in. Gently wrapping my hand around his length he sighed  
“Oh yes” he moaned  
As I stroked him he became increasingly harder and I saw a drop of white precum forming on his tip. I softly ran my thumb over it and he growled. In a flash he lifted his head and pushed me flush against the wall forcing his tongue into my mouth. He reached under my dress and pushed my panties out of the way, rubbing the pad of his thumb over my clit  
“Mmm” my eyes snapped shut  
“Fuck” he cursed  
He fell down onto his knees and lifted my dress, ripped my underwear, and instantly had his mouth all over my hot core. His tongue was poking and prodding. My hands instinctively laced into his hair when he made a long broad stroke from the back to the front of my slit.  
“Gods I love the taste of your arousal” he kissed me breathing heavily “we don’t…I don’t, have the time to take you properly, to make you scream and cum over and over” he gripped my hip “but I need you to be a good girl, get on your knees and open that pretty little mouth of yours” he pushed on my shoulders until I was on the ground “and suck me so good, so hard, until I give you all I have”  
I looked up at him submissively, hoping he wouldn’t force me to do this, but his eyes were too dark with lust to notice. He opened my jaw with his hand, and used his other to direct his cock straight down my throat. He pushed with such force that the back of my head pressed against the wall and he had the ability to thrust as hard as he wanted. His palms landed on the wall as he pressed down my throat without warning, I didn’t have time to fill my lungs with oxygen. I was beginning to get dizzy, my vision becoming blurry. I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself down, maybe slow down my heart rate a bit, but it was no use. The wet sounds of my throat trying to accommodate his length only spurred him on. He thrusted in and out relentlessly. Finally he relented enough that I could take in some oxygen and next thing I knew he withdrew completely. One hand stoked his cock quickly and the other reached down to my face. After only a few seconds he pushed himself back in my mouth. Three long, deep, painful thrusts and he moaned  
“Fuuuuuuuuck” he exploded in my throat, emptying himself  
He kept moving, allowing only a little air past his thick cock, as his cum dripped down the back of my throat and I struggled to swallow it all. It felt as though it would never be over. I kept swallowing but there was always more. His hand held my jaw as his forehead rested on the wall, his eyes closed. Lazily he kept rocking back and forth, as if it was a reflex. Finally, with one last push down my throat, he pulled away. My hands landed on my bent knees and I struggled to take in as much oxygen as I could as fast as I could. My vision was blurry and I was paying no attention to what was going on around me. As my lungs stopped burning and my thoughts became coherent I felt a sob rise in my chest, I tried to hold it down but it was too late. The sound escaped my lips and tears welled in my eyes. I held my gaze to the floor, not daring to look up. All of the sudden I was being lifted and he carried me out of the closet and over to the bed. He sat down leaning against the headboard and held me too his, now clothed, body.  
“Shhh” he soothed “what’s the matter darling?” he asked  
My body began to shake violently as the anger in my stomach bubbled up  
“What’s wrong?!” I pushed myself from his chest “You! You’re what’s wrong!” I stumbled as I stood  
He furrowed his eyebrows as he watched me “I…”  
“Every time!” I yelled “every time I think that you could change, that you could be the man you once were, you prove me wrong!”  
“Wha-“  
“You can’t just force yourself on people!” I ran my fingers through my hair  
He stood “I have never had trouble doing it before!” he was agitated “besides that you are not just anyone, you are my wife!”  
I turned to him and stared “THAT MAKES IT WORSE”  
A knock on the door caught our attention and a man entered the room “we are ready for you in the meeting hall”  
Loki pinched the bridge of his nose “alright” he looked towards me “come darling”  
I didn’t want to go, I was surprised he had the balls to ask me, but his face and tone of voice were warning, so I didn’t dare argue.  
I walked behind him, following the frost giant that led us through the halls. I had no idea where we were going, or why we were going there, I was just focused on regaining my composure before we got there.  
“My king” the man stopped and bowed his head, extending his arm to a doorway  
I followed Loki into the room where there were three Jotuns, Byleistr was one of them.  
“Loki” one of them, a woman, stood and greeted  
He motioned for me to join him at his side  
“Allow me to introduce my wife, Grace” he took my hand  
“My queen” all three of them knelt before me, I didn’t really know how to react or what to do  
“Darling, this is my brother Helbindi, and my mother Farbauti” he pointed to each of them  
My eyes widened, his mother? “um, hello”  
“You are quite pretty, for a Midgardian” Farbauti smiled  
“Thanks” I squeezed Loki’s hand, hoping I was saying the right things  
“Tell me, my son, what happened to anger you enough to kill our king, my husband?”  
I was tense, but Loki smiled  
“Of course mother, shall we sit?”  
It irritated me that he called her mother, Frigga had always worked so hard to make sure Loki felt as loved as Thor and he rarely gave her the time of day.  
I wondered how his mother would take Loki’s murdering of her husband, but it seemed as though, through Jotun law, he was in the right and so she didn’t argue. I sat quietly and listened to them talk, and while they all seemed perfectly happy I was tense the entire time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took some inspiration from Loki's Dirty Whispers...again.


	11. Chapter 11

I spent the next day in our room, attempting to make any kind of adjustment to my new surroundings. It was of little use. Jotunheim was the farthest away from home I’d ever been, from either of my homes. It shared no resemblance with Asgard, and only very little with certain places on Midgard. The view out the windows was spectacular, though. I wasn’t completely unhappy here, I had asked, after all, to go with Loki. He had spent the evening elsewhere, no doubt attending to very kingly duties. While I was sitting on the bed, looking out over this foreign world, I heard the door open. I turned just in time to see him lock the door and rest his forehead against the wood. His posture slumped and I was transfixed on watching the muscle beneath his shirt moving up and down as he took slow breathes.

“…Loki?” I asked softly

He turned and stood, silently watching me on the bed as intently as I had been watching him. My brows furrowed as I tried to read his emotions from across the dimly lit room. His breathing became heavy and his face frustrated before he walked purposefully toward me. I instinctively drew my legs up and moved backward on the bed. At that he stopped, concern and confusion crossing his features. He spent a moment thinking before it looked as though he had figured out what he was trying to, and then his eyes snapped shut and he pinched the bridge of his nose. I stayed still, unmoving, watching, waiting for him to do something. When he looked back up at me I noticed his eyes were bloodshot, and beyond that they were wet. Loki, the god of mischief, was standing in front of me, and he was crying. I released my legs and looked back and forth between his eyes.

“Please” his voice was hoarse “Just this once, just for tonight, make me feel as though someone loves me”

I tilted my head slightly “what’s wrong?”

“I…I…I can’t” he sighed

“come here” I was growing concerned

He climbed onto the bed and pulled me from my sitting position so that I was laying next to him. Then he softly placed his head on my chest and curled his body as closely as he could to mine. I didn’t really know what to do, Loki wasn’t one to outwardly seek comfort very often, at least not anymore. I thought back to when we would lay out in the summer sun in the gardens of Asgard, he would lay on my chest and I would play with his hair, and we would just talk.

I laced my fingers into his black locks and sighed “do you want to talk about what happened?”

“no” he replied quietly “talk about something else”

“like what?”

“I don’t know” he sighed “anything, I just like the sound of your voice”

Thoughts shuffled through my mind, trying to come up with something that would take his mind away, a good memory.

“Do you remember the day we met?” I asked

He looked up at me with furrowed brows “of course I do…do you?”

I smiled with a small chuckle “oh yes, I do”

His expression turned curious “why do you say it like that?”

“Well, I was only 15 at the time…it was quite the adventure to meet two princes from another world”

He laid back down “I suppose”

“especially two cute princes” I added

“…you thought we were cute?” he asked perplexed

“uh, ya! Firstly you were older which made you instantly cool to a young girl. Second you were princes, that’s literally every girls dream. My eye was instantly drawn to you, but over time I came to understand why all the girls fawned over Thor as well” I chuckled

“You thought _I_ , next to _Thor_ , was more attractive?” his voice portrayed disbelief

I twirled a piece of his wavy hair around my finger “absolutely”

“You’re lying”

“Am not” I furrowed my eyebrows “…you’ve always felt yourself so unworthy next to Thor”

“No” he became tense “it was everyone _around_ me that felt that way”

This wasn’t helping, I was making it worse I raked my fingers through his locks and smiled

“I remember that moment, so vividly. Standing there next to my parents, on a new world, in front of a strong king, a beautiful queen, and two handsome princes. The blonde of Thor’s hair pulls anyone’s thoughts his direction, but after a moment that initial draw fades. However, it was your _eyes_ , that blue green that I now find so much comfort in.” he looked up at me “…and your hair, so dark in contrast to your brothers” I looked down and pushed some stray strands from his face “Thor…everything Thor is can be seen with little effort, his proud personality, his strong sense of purpose, but you…you, at least then, were a mystery. I could see it in your eyes as you looked back at me, that there was more than what you let people see.”

He adjusted himself so that he was laying next to me, face to face

“ _My_ eyes? No, it’s yours, your eyes, I swear, they can see right into my soul. Past the front giant, past the prince, past the terrible things I have done. How, how can you do what no one else can?”

I thought about it for a moment “…because I want to. I remember that boy, kind, caring, romantic, fun. I know that that’s who you really are. There have been circumstances that now prevent you from showing that, but I wish you would understand that it’s ok to do so”

He leaned forward and kissed my forehead gently, his body was trembling. When he pulled away he took my hands and held them together in his, then placed them on his chest. Next he pushed one arm under my neck and around onto my back and wrapped the other around my waist. With one fluid motion he pulled me to him, tucking my head under his chin. He intertwined his legs with mine, another way to prevent me from moving and keep me flush with him. As he settled I let myself relax. My lips pressed to his neck and I relished in the feeling of his grip tightening on me.

“I know you see me as a monster” he started “but I am not the monster you think I am. I have a heart…” he kissed the top of my head “and it belongs to you” I looked up and our eyes locked, I couldn’t look away “You took it, when you left, you took it and I believed that I would never feel, truly feel, anything ever again”

“Loki-”

“but it wasn’t so” he cut me off shaking his head “it was instant, the moment I saw you, I remembered what it felt like. The happiness of seeing your face. The joy of seeing you smile. The rage I felt when you cried, wanting to destroy who or what ever made you upset. The breathlessness the sight of your bare skin caused me. The warmth of your words, and the overwhelming bliss I felt making love to you. In a moment, in one second, it felt as though I had never been without it”

Now my eyes began to fill with tears. Looking up at him, in that moment, he looked so broken, so unguarded. I stretched up and kissed the bottom of his chin then returned my face to his neck. He, once again, placed his hand on the back of my head and began to stroke my hair. I don’t know how long we stayed like that, but he fell asleep fairly quickly. I couldn’t make myself move, he needed to sleep, and so I too let myself doze off with the smallest shard of hope returned to my soul.


	12. Chapter 12

As I slept that night, wrapped in his arms, my face buried in his neck, I dreamt of the past, of the very first time Loki and I spent the night together. It played out crystal clear in my mind.

 

It was the queen’s birthday, and the entire palace was alive with guests, music, and laughter. All of Asgard had been invited, as they were each year. I wore a short green dress with sheer flowy sleeves and I earned a glance from many of the young men in attendance, however I paid them no attention. I hadn’t seen Loki or Thor since diner and so I was walking around trying to find them. When I did the two of them were surrounded by a large group of young girls. I felt my heart rate pick up as I watched them from behind. It wasn’t a new idea to me, that nearly every young Asgardian girl was more than interested in one or both of the princes, but it was still not an idea that I appreciated. I kept my distance and walked around so I could see their faces as they mingled with the girls. Of course not even the king and queen knew of our relationship so the rest of Asgard certainly had no idea. For it to stay this way he had to act somewhat interested in some of the young single maidens that approached him or people would start to ask questions. As both of their faces came into view I scowled at the smile on my boyfriends face. He must have felt me watching him because when he looked up he quickly caught my eyes. His smile turned to a sort of sideways smirk when he saw me.

At moments like these I wondered if he wished he had chosen another. These girls worshiped the ground he walked on, and it’s not that I didn’t, it’s just that I was only with him in the summers. That fact only made our relationship move that much slower. I would bet good money that any one of these girls would let him take them away and sleep with him at his mere request. However, that feeling, coupled with our age and the amount of time we’d now been together, I had been feeling ready for a few weeks now, and I didn’t want to delay it any longer.

I waited patiently for the crowd around them to thin out and then approached.

“Excuse me” I pushed my way through a few girls that were making a circle around Loki, they all glared until the recognized me “I must speak in private with Loki”

“oh of course princess” they curtsied

The title was more a curtesy that anything, but Odin had insisted on it when he introduced me to Asgard.

“Loki” I turned to him and glared shifting my head sideways so he knew to follow me. We walked past hundreds of people as we made our way to my bedchambers. Once inside I closed the door and locked it.

He chuckled “what has gotten into you?”

“Nothing” I shot back sitting on my bed “I was just tired of watching you with all those girls while I was by myself”

He smirked approaching me “Well…since you crave my attention so much” he stood in front of me, our knees touching as he tilted my chin up “I’ll be more than happy to ravish you”

And with that he was on top of me, pressing me into the mattress, as he kissed me full force

I giggled and pushed him off me “Loki”

We readjusted, laying our heads on the plush pillows, facing each other

“what?” he asked smiling

I sighed and placed my hand on his cheek smiling “I…I just tire of watching you with all those pretty young girls trying to throw themselves at you”

“and I tire of having to spend time with them when I know I could be up here with you, my true princess” he took my hand from his face and kissed my knuckles

I smiled

“You are ten times more beautiful than any one of them” he kissed slowly up my arm, moving closer to me

I sighed and let my eyes flutter closed 

He kissed my lips, then my cheek, my nose, and finally my forehead. Gripping my hip he pulled me flush to him. I looked up at him and he kissed me passionately

“Do you ever wish...” I lost the courage to finish the question

“What?” He asked softly

“Do you ever wish you had one of them instead of me?” I pushed my face into his neck to hide

His voice was confused “why would you ask that?”

“Because, they love you, they would do anything for you, whatever you asked” I kept my face hidden

“Perhaps they would...but you have given me everything I have ever wanted, and more” he stroked my hair

“...but have I?” I replied

I felt his body freeze momentarily “is this about sex?” He asked

It was a conversation we’d had before, obviously, as we’d been together for over a year and had yet to sleep together. 

I didn’t answer. 

“Darling, we’ve been over this, I am in no rush, the circumstances of our relationship are complicated at best, I do not expect anything from you until you’re ready”

Though we had been ‘together’ for a year, we had actually only spent a total of 5 or 6 months actually together.

I sighed and pulled away from him to make eye contact “but you are a man, Midgardian or Asgardian, men always want sex”

He smiled “I am more patient than you think” he brushed some hair from my face “Do I imagine what you look like beneath all those clothes? Of course. Do I picture you when I’m alone at night craving release? Yes.” I felt my cheeks get hot “Do I want to have sex with you? Gods yes! But I would never ask that of you until you are ready, and I would never resent you for not being ready yet”

A warmth overcame my body at his words, his patience, his understanding. 

I kissed him quickly “and what if I’m ready now?” I smiled

“...then I would ask if you were sure, if you had truly spent time thinking this through…and then I would spend the entire night worshiping your body” his eyes searched mine

I bit my lip “...I have, and I’m sure”

The corners of his lips turned up and he kissed me. When his tongue brushed over my bottom lip I let him in instantly. He searched my mouth, exploring everywhere, as he rolled on top of me. When we broke apart we were both breathing heavily, but both smiling. I gripped the bottom of his shirt and pulled it up. He lifted it over his head and threw it haphazardly to the ground. His hand on my hip moved down my thigh, then back up, pushing my dress up to my stomach. His eyes shifted down, taking in my lacy emerald panties, and his tongue darted out to wet his lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck and sat up, letting him pull the dress over my head. My fingers worked at his belt and he removed his pants. This was as far as we’d ever gone before. Beyond this was uncharted territory. He hovered over me and, with his lips parted, locked his eyes on mine. I reached up and pressed my hands to his stomach, moving them up over his shoulders and around his neck. His hand gripped my hip forcefully. As he moved it up my side his grip never faltered, as if he was trying to hold himself back. I took his hand in mine and, sitting up, pushed it around my back onto my bra clasp. He fiddled with it for only a moment before it came loose. I pushed the straps off my shoulders and threw it away. I quickly reached down and pushed his underwear down his hips to even the playing field. He removed them then sat between my legs and hooked his fingers on mine. He looked up at me and, as he slowly pulled them down my legs, he never broke eye contact. Once they were gone he returned to his position above me. 

“Unbelievably beautiful” he whispered looking down my body.

I took the opportunity to check him out, and found my body reacting to the sight. His cock was hard and big, and his chest was moving in and out with his quick breathing. 

His hand found my cheek and he pushed his lips to mine. As we kissed he lowered some of his weight on me, and the feeling of his skin on mine made me sigh. 

“Gods, if you told me to stop right now...I would, but it would be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. The sounds from your lips, the feeling of your skin, the sight of your body, you are a goddess”

I grinned pushing a hand into his hair

“I think it would be equally as difficult for me to ask you to stop”

He took my hips and flipped us over so I was on top of him. I laid on him, our bodies pressed to each others, our eyes locked. He softly rubbed his hands up and down my sides and smiled at me.

“What?” I asked softly, smiling and toying with his hair

“I could look into your eyes all night”

“You could, but wouldn’t you rather do something else?” I smiled and bit my lip

He tucked some stray hair behind my ear “what’s the rush darling, we have all night”

He pulled my lips to his and held me while he kissed me. He was right, we did have all night, but I wasn’t sure I could take the anticipation. This was going to be my first time, and while it would also be his he seemed much calmer about the situation than I felt.

“What’s bothering you?” he asked

I sighed, resting me head against his shoulder “if you’re asking that then you already know” I replied, guessing that he had been in my mind

“Perhaps, but I want to hear you say it, I want you to trust me” he soothed

“I…I’m scared” I confessed

“Ok” he moved so we were both laying on our sides facing each other “why?”

“…I don’t know, you seem so calm, so confident…what’s wrong with me?” I huffed

He let out and breathy chuckle “calm?” he took my hand and placed it on his chest over his heart, I could immediately feel it beating incredibly rapidly “nothing’s wrong with you, I feel the same way, but it is my job to keep you calm and make you feel safe” I continued to feel his heart beat and smiled ”do you trust me?”

“yes” I replied, my voice muffled from being pressed to his chest

He rubbed my back “then there’s no reason to be scared” slowly his hand moved down onto my ass

As he explored I felt his cock press against my abdomen, getting harder. Soon he was on top of me again, his lips pressed to mine and his hand sliding up and onto my breast.

“Mm” the sound slipped from my mouth quickly he his fingertips passed over my nipple

I pushed my hands into his hair again and held his lips to mine. He repeated the motion and my body flinched when he made contact. He pulled his mouth from mine and rested his forehead on mine.

“so incredibly gorgeous” he whispered, eyes closed

Then he moved down my body until his head was level with my chest. I looked down at him, watching his every movement, and he looked at me before softly kissing my breast and then slowly taking my nipple into his mouth.

“Uh” I closed my eyes “Loki”

He moved to kiss my neck and suddenly I felt his hand on my pussy, cupping it, then slowly moving the tip of his middle finger up and down the center.

“Lokii” his name fell from my lips in a short whine

At that he dipped his finger into my folds, still gently sliding up and down. I reached between us and tentatively wrapped my fingers around his hard length.

“Gods” he breathed against my neck

I was completely terrified I was going to do something wrong, but I slowly moved my hand up and down. I could tell he was loosing his focus because he would stop moving each time I changed what I was doing, then take a moment before he continued what he was doing.

“Mmm” he sighed, pushing himself up onto his knees, his cock slipping from my hand as he moved too far away

“Tell me you’re still sure” he laid down on his stomach between my legs, wrapping his arms around my thighs “tell me you still want this”

I propped myself up onto my elbows so I could see him and nodded, my mouth hanging open slightly

He used his fingers to open my lips and then pressed his tongue to my core

“Ohhh” I fell back, my eyes snapping shut

He lapped at my wet core, from the bottom to the top, over and over again. I thought I was loosing my mind, it felt so good. Then, just when I thought I couldn’t take anymore, he pushed his tongue into my hole.

“Fuuuck” I arched my back up off the bed, but his arms held my hips down

He pulled his mouth away and I felt him watching me as I breathed heavily

“What?” I asked huffing

He worked his way up my body “I have never been more turned on in my entire life” he kissed my forehead and pulled one of my knees around his waist “I have to have you” he kissed me with hot wet lips “please” he sighed “let me have you”

I lifted my other leg around his waist and reached between us to hold his hard cock

“Ugh” his forehead fell to my should when I wrapped my fingers around it

Slowly pumping it I pressed his tip to my dripping folds. His hips jerked forward slightly and pushed his tip into me. He looked down at me, brushing his thumb over my cheek. He pushed my left leg off of his waist and took hold of my hip. He looked down between us, to where we were connected, and slowly pulled back before pressing forward again. He was going incredibly slow and incredibly shallow and I could tell it was killing him.

I wrapped my arms around his neck “Loki” I giggled “you can go farther”

He looked up at me, his forehead covered in a layer of sweat “I do not want to hurt you”

“I know” I pushed some of his sweaty black locks from his face “but I’m going to want to do this again”

“you are amazing” he kissed me sloppily “promise you’ll tell me if it hurts too much”

“I promise”

He kept hold of my hip with one hand and he placed his other arm over my head, like he was trying to protect me. Slowly he pushed himself further inside of me

“holy crap” I pinched my eyes closed and he stopped moving

“I am so sorry” he kissed my cheek “we can sto-“

“no” I cut him off “just don’t move”

He nodded, then kissed my cheek again, then my nose, then my lips. He made sure to stay completely still, but he did quite well at distracting me with his lips.

“more” I breathed between kisses

He pushed in a little further but immediately stopped when I groaned

This time he pushed his face into my neck, his lips next to my ear

“you are, by far, the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on” he whispered “and beyond that you are _incredibly_ sexy” he kissed my neck “and you’re all mine”

“more” I whispered again

He pushed forward amazingly steady

“Shit!” I gasped, and again he stopped

“You’re sure-“

“yes” I cut him off “this isn’t working, you’re just going to have to do it”

“I’m not sure that’s a good id-“

“please” I opened my eyes and locked them on his

His eyes looked pained, sad, but he nodded anyway “whenever you’re ready”

I took a few deep breaths and grabbed his shoulders “ok”

With that he pushed into me, slowly but steady

“Ahhhh” I cried until he stopped, all the way in

I wrapped my other leg around him and felt tears stinging my eyes and a few of them fall down my cheeks

“Princess” he voice was laced with sympathy as he brushed the tears from my cheek with his thumb “I have never felt anything as wonderful as being buried inside you, but I feel no pleasure while you are in such pain. My heart breaks at the look on your face, I do not like this, I do not like being the reason you are in agony”

“It has to be done” I replied through gritted teeth

He looked down at me, desperately trying to figure out how to take away the pain

“Breathe” he whispered brushing away the hairs that were stuck to my forehead with sweat

I did, in and out, deep and slow. 

“Good girl” he buried his face in my neck and placed small kisses up and down “you are so unbelievably wonderful my princess” he whispered between each one “so beautiful, so perfect” he sighed “I would do anything to take this pain from you right now” 

The stretch happening between my legs was immensely painful, but his words did a pretty good job of soothing it. 

“Loki” I whispered

He pulled his face from my neck and looked at me “move”

I could see the relief behind his eyes, he had been perfectly still, but it was killing him. Slowly he retracted a little ways and the pain dulled. He stopped briefly and looked up at me before pushing himself back in

“Ahhh” I hissed

“Grace-“

“No, keep going, slowly, but keep going” I pressed my fingertips into his shoulders

I could feel every inch of him as he moved, something I was sure I would enjoy at a later date, but right now not so much. Every pain receptor in my body screamed at me to make it stop, to push him away, but I couldn’t. I knew how much he wanted this, I knew how much  _I_  wanted this, and it was going to be worth it. 

“Ohh” I moaned, surprising even myself

When I opened my eyes he had the pad of his thumb on my clit, gently rubbing in time with his slow thrusts. I felt my walls relax, feeling less resistance to his invasive cock. He watched me so closely as he rocked back and forth. I closed my eyes and then I felt it

“AH!” I gasped

A sharp pain coursed through my veins. He immediately stopped

“It’s ok, keep going” I urged

He looked at me puzzled, but did as I asked

I knew what had happened, he had just broken my barrier, it finally gave way and ripped. I was sort of glad, don’t get me wrong, it hurt a ton when it ripped, but now it was more sore than anything. Either way it was a happy relief from the outright pain I’d been feeling. 

I relaxed my grip on his shoulders slightly when he returned his face to my neck, and instead of just focusing on the pain I turned my head and gently sucked the base of his neck, where I knew he loved it. 

“Ohhh” he mumbled into my neck

His voice made my heart rate pick up, knowing that I was making him feel good. 

I threaded my fingers into his hair, starting to enjoy the entire experience. My other hand roamed his body, down his neck, over his toned back, and on his ass, feeling him push in and out of me. As soon as my lips broke from his neck he attacked me in a hot, sloppy, wet kiss. 

His lips vibrated in a deep moan against mine. 

“Please say it’s subsiding, that your feeling some form of pleasure” he breathed

I nodded kissing him again

“Thank god, I feel so guilty for enjoying myself, but I’ve never felt this good in my entire life”

“You’re so amazing” I sighed “it’s still sore” I kissed his cheek “but it’s much better” then his jaw “go faster babe” I whispered gently biting his ear

“Fuck” he cursed, biting my shoulder

He really picked up the speed of his thrusts, but kept his finger in time with them. I wasn’t sure if the speed was less or more painful, but it felt amazing. 

“Mmm, baby” I arched my back a bit, my fingers gripping his hair

He took the opportunity to wrap his lips around my pert nipple 

“Loki” I gasped 

“Fuck, my name on your lips is like ecstasy” he groaned

Our bodies were now covered in a sheen of sweat, the room hot and muggy

“I...I’m sorry, but I can’t...I can’t hold back any lo-“

“It’s ok” I replied cutting him off “cum for me baby”

He did, as if on command, he instantly let go. 

“Fuuuuuuuuck” his eyes snapped shut, his fingers dug their way into my hip as he sporadically pushed into me. 

It hurt, when he lost control and was drivin by only lust, but it was worth it. The look on his face, the desperation of his grip, the feeling of his cock pulsing and filling me, they were all overwhelmingly amazing. 

It had only been a moment when he returned his thumb to my clit with speed and determination, and bit down gently on my nipple. 

“God, Loki” I pulled at his hair gently

Licking over the now sensitive bud his thrusts continued, but deeper than before. And with one last hard push he hit somewhere inside my body that pushed me over the edge. 

“Lokiiiiii” I moaned as my orgasm washed over me

I didn’t know what to do, I’d never felt anything like it. I wanted to move and stay still, I wanted to scream and bite my tongue. My legs wrapped tightly around his waist, my back arched up pressing our chests together, and my arms reached around his neck, clawing at his back. I couldn’t get him close enough, but my body desperately kept trying. My breathing was out of control and I couldn’t even focus on it, every muscle in my body clenched. I didn’t know if he was watching me or what he was doing, but he let me pull and claw and push him however I wanted, without resistance. 

When I finally could feel my breathing again, and my muscles gave way to exhaustion, he wrapped his arm around my waist and gently rolled us over so I was laying on top of him. Our bodies still connected, his cock still buried to the hilt as my body clenched around him. I was splayed on top of him, my head resting on his chest. My hand reached out and he laced his fingers with mine, I was completely out of breath. I spent a moment trying to slow my heart beat, then looked up at him. 

He looked down at me with tired eyes, but he smiled brightly “hello princess” he caressed my cheek 

I smiled up at him sleepily “Loki” I sighed

“I’m here, sleep darling, let your body rest, you won’t leave my arms the entire night”

“That...that was amazing” I sighed as I moved slightly, letting his cock fall from my core, and laid down next to him

He pulled me to his chest and tucked my head under his chin

“ _You_  are amazing”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took some inspiration from Loki's Dirty Whispers...again.


	13. Chapter 13

I opened my eyes to red light, I didn’t know where I was, but I was warm. Figuring I must be under the blanket on the bed I moved, trying to get my head out. When I did the room was bright and I squinted. Glancing around the headboard I looked out the window. The sun was shining but it was snowing as bad as ever. A cool breeze fanned over my skin as the blanket had fallen to my waist and my top was pulled up a bit exposing my stomach. I stretched out arching my back a bit and pushing out all my limbs.

“You are truly breathtaking” I turned my head to see Loki leaning against the bathroom doorway watching me. 

I pulled the blanket around me smiling

“No” he made his way over to the bed “do not cover yourself, the sight of you makes me smile...please” he got on the bed and sat next to me. He reached and gently pushed the blanket off my middle then leaned forward and pressed his lips to the exposed skin. His demeanor was very soft, very loving. It wasn’t unpleasant, in any way, but it was a little concerning and out of character. However, I softly pushed my fingers into his hair anyway.

“Mmm” I moaned softly sitting up

“Insatiable” he whispered “your moans, I will never hear enough of them”

He pulled me forward onto his lap and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he held me firmly against him. My chin rested on his shoulder and I played with the ends of his hair as he buried his face in mine. We sat silently, chests pressed together breathing slowly. He didn’t attempt to move, he didn’t try to kiss me, he didn’t even try to have sex with me. I slowly rubbed my hand over the flawless skin of his back, his breathing was uncharacteristically even. His fingers were spread wide over my back, unwilling to let me move away from him, but frankly I didn’t want to. 

“You are truly my queen, in every sense of the word” he sighed “you are the queen of my home, the queen of my kingdom, the queen of my body, the queen of my soul, of my dreams, of my future and of my life.”

“Wow” I chuckled, confused by his soft spoken words of admiration “that’s a lot of responsibility”

He chuckled then kissed my neck “indeed, but I would trust no one else”

I rested my head against his shoulder “how did I manage to get such a sought after job?”

“Because I wanted you to have it. My heart, my soul, they’ve been yours for years, I’ve never had a choice in that matter. But my kingdoms, my body, my life, and my future, I give those willingly, they are things I want you to have”

I sighed pulling back to look into his eyes. He laced his fingers with mine and a small smile formed on his face, the I figured it out. Slowly I leaned in to kiss him, soft and slow. 

“Did you have something to do with my dream last night?” I asked, one eyebrow raised and a small smile on my face

He looked back at me utterly confused “what dream?”

“…you didn’t?”

“no, I was sleeping” he replied “why? What did you dream of?”

A smile crept onto my face “nothing” I played it off “surely you must have things to do on our last day here before we return to Asgard?” I asked

“I did” he replied kissing my shoulder “however I told the council to cancel everything after the ceremony and banquet”

I chuckled “Loki, you can’t just do that”

He lowered me onto my back and hovered over me “if I want to spend the evening with my wife then I will” he kissed my stomach again

We only had a few minutes to ourselves before he had to leave and some women came in to dress me for the ceremony.

 

  
I stood at the front of the room, addressing the people of Jotunheim, a people that I now ruled. They looked upon me, I could feel many of their red eyes hot on my skin. The men that had been so enthralled with me on Asgard were standing at the front, and each time I made eye contact with them they would lick their lips. I was made to wear some type of Jotun attire by the women who were put in charge of me, and I wasn’t totally comfortable with the new look. It wasn’t anything over the top, a tight black tshirt, a dark teal blue knee length skirt with an open slit cut almost all the way up the front of each of my legs, tall black boots and some black leather wrist cuffs. It wasn’t awful, but with all those eyes on me I found myself uncomfortable. Regardless I stayed where I was, but needless to say I was glad to be returning to Asgard tomorrow. Loki was to arrive at any moment to address the people of Jotunheim, his people.

Finally, he entered from the back and strode down the center walkway. People called out to him, cheering, and he thoroughly enjoyed every moment of it. It wasn’t until he was halfway to the front that I noticed he too had changed. Not much, he still wore his black pants and boots, but his top was different. He wore a series of black leather straps across his chest, he wore the same cuffs as I did, and of course his cape hung from his shoulders. He smiled and turned, then locked eyes with me. I was still working out the details of his new outfit, but he quickly scanned over mine. He no longer turned to see each of his adoring subjects, his eyes were fixed on me. He climbed the steps to where I stood and stopped for a moment, eyes on mine, before turning to speak.

“My friends, my brothers!” He rose his arms and everyone settled “to be here, to be home, is a wonderful feeling. To take the throne from my father, conflicting. However, he did break the laws set out by our people...let his execution be a lesson to you all, I do not share what is mine!” He paused and took a deep breath “moving on, I intend to make some changes to our regulations...”

 

The ceremony went on and on, and I stood unwaveringly behind him on his right. It wasn’t until I had been back in our chambers for 5-10min that Loki finally appeared. I turned to face him as he closed the door

“You…” he breathed

My heart rate quickened at the devilish grin on his face

“you are going to be the death of me” he approached me, but kept a small distance between us

“This?” I asked motioning to my outfit, worried he was upset “I didn’t choose this”

“I am in debt to whoever did, I had a hard time keeping myself focused at the ceremony, knowing you were right behind me” he licked his lips

I sat on the edge of the bed fixing the top of one of my boots “You seemed pretty focused on the adoration of your people”

He chuckled “You have  _no_  idea how much I watch you, how much I crave you. What you mean to me is too much to describe…ice to a frost giant. A weapon to a warrior. A queen to a king. I love you and do not forget it, no matter what happens”

I sighed

“What?” He asked moving to stand in front of me, our knees touching “you don’t believe me?”

“I...I believe that you pretend to...I believe that  _you_  believe you’re in love with me”

He hooked his finger under my chin and tilted my head up “There is no pretending, I love you, and I will love you until I die, and if there is life after that, I’ll love you then.”

I forced a small smile on my face

“Why won’t you believe what I say?” His face was becoming angry

“I don’t know, I don’t know what to believe” 

“...but why? You’ve never trusted what I say!” He backed away, now fully angry

“That’s not true!” I shot back

“Oh you’re right, I’m sorry” he yelled bitterly “you used to trust me, back before you knew who I really was, before I was a monster, a frost giant”

I glared and clenched my fists “no no no!” I got up and walked towards him “you don’t get to do that! You don’t get to blame the way  _you_  felt on  _me_! I never stopped trusting you, not until you changed, not until you started hurting me!” I was yelling in his face at this point “I was there, I never left, not until you gave me reason to. Nothing changed for me, nothing you found out altered the way I felt about you, or my desire to be with you. You did that! You pushed me away!”

He just stood there, our faces inches apart, both of us unwavering in our anger or our gaze. 

Finally he turned away, headed for the closet, running his fingers through his hair.

“We must go” he mumbled

We both straightened ourselves up to go to the banquet and left the room in silence. 

 

It was a different kind of banquet than on Asgard, but not all together terrible. However, there were a lot of people, a lot of big people, and it was more than a little intimidating. Loki and I had entered the room together, but we’re quickly separated. I didn’t enjoy being on my own, it scared me. Anyone of these people could kill me, or at the very least kidnap me, at any moment. So, I had been hiding in the kitchen to get away from it all for a moment, I decided however that it would be best for me to return to the party, lest Loki find out I was gone. I entered the packed room once again and timidly made my way through the crowds looking for Loki. His was the only face I knew and he had been acting rather...sweet since we came down to the hall. Even when we were separated, he would catch my eye from across the room and just watch me. I felt safer knowing that was keeping an eye on me. I spotted him in the middle of the crowd speaking with someone. 

“Ah, my love, there you are” he called, motioning for me to join him at his side “this is Ölvaldi, an elder of the council” he motioned to the Jotun in front of him “my friend, this is my wife, Grace”

“It’s so lovely to meet you my queen” he bowed in front of me

“and you” I replied

“The king has just been telling me how beautiful you are” I furrowed my eyebrows looking at Loki, and he put his hand on my lower back “his description doesn’t do you justice” the man smiled

Two other Jotun’s approached and the four of them began to discuss politics of some kind

“Where were you?” Loki whispered in my ear, eyes never leaving the men in front of him

“I was in the kitchen...hiding” I replied

His arm wrapped around my hip and pulled me to his side “are you ok?” he asked

I sighed, feeling the comfort of being near him amongst all these people, my heart rate slowing

“Yes, I just needed a break” 

I wrapped my arms around his middle from the side standing perpendicular to him and he smiled

“I was worried about you” he tightened his grip on me and kissed my forehead, eyes still focused on the conversation

His arm around me instilled a safety I was more than happy to have in this moment. I kissed his shoulder where it was bare, then rested my head against it. He looked at me with soft eyes and began to rub my back slowly. Their conversation continued, but Loki never once tried to adjust his stance, nor did he ever stop rubbing my back reassuringly. 

He spent the whole night in constant contact with me, when he was moving his hand was locked with mine, when he was speaking with someone his arm was around me or his hand was rested gently on my lower back. Every now and then he would look at me, eyes full of emotion, like he was trying to say something, but I could never place what it was. He would let a small smile grace his face then kiss my cheek softly before returning his attention to what was happening in front of him. As the night wore on I could tell that he was becoming bored with the conversations happening. The sun had set long ago and I yawned. He excused himself from the group he was speaking with and spoke softly

“Are you tired my love?” He asked

I nodded

“You may go to bed if you’d like” he placed his hand on my cheek. I leaned into his touch. 

“I would like to go to bed, and I would like you to be there next to me” I yawned again and looked at him with sleepy eyes

He smiled and wrapped his arms around my hips and pulled me flush to him

“Come then, we’ll go to bed” he whispered nuzzling my ear

He took my hand and led me away to our chambers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took some inspiration from Loki's Dirty Whispers...again.


	14. Chapter 14

The next day when I awoke I was alone. I must have slept well because the sun was high in the sky when I got up. I got dressed and just as I was about to leave the room Loki entered.

“My darling, you’re awake” he took a few steps towards me and then truly embraced me. His arms were wrapped as far around me as possible, his fingers spread wide on my back, his face nuzzled into my hair at my neck.

“Good morning” I chuckled my hand landing on the back of his head

He took a deep breath “mmm, how did you sleep?”

“Good” I stroked his hair “I was tired”

“Yes” he chuckled “I assumed, it is past noon after all”

“oh…really?” I whispered

“yes” he pulled away to look at me “are you ready to return to Asgard?”

I nodded

“Wonderful, let’s go home”

He took my hand and lead me from the room. As we entered the hallway there were 6 Jotuns that walked with us towards the front entrance of the castle. We approached the door and Bylestier, Helbindi, and Farbauti were there waiting for us.

“It’s been so lovely to have you here, I hope you return shortly” Farbauti said as we approached the three of them

“We will return as soon as time permits” Loki smiled

A man came from behind and offered me a long coat. I let him help me put it on

“Goodbye my queen” Bylestier bowed

“Goodbye” I replied

“Come my love” Loki took my hand

We stepped out into the wind and the cold and began our walk. Loki’s hand never left mine, his skin unaffected by the cold. Of course my wrist, where it was neither in my coat or in his hand, was quite cold. However, soon enough we were where we needed to be and we were flying through the air back to Asgard. As my mind stopped spinning Heimdall was standing in his place in the centre of the room. The sight of his familiar face made me smile.

“King Loki, Queen Grace” he nodded, removing his sword from the center of the Bifrost

“Heimdall, good to see you friend” I smiled

 

As soon as I was back in our chambers I removed my jacket and my clothes, replacing them with something more familiar and comfortable. Loki had disappeared to speak with the Asgardian council about how things went on Jotunheim. I was asleep before he returned.

I felt the bed move and I rolled over, opening my eyes slightly

He smiled apologetically “I didn’t mean to wake you”

“It’s ok” I sighed

He placed his hand on my cheek “you’re so patient”

“what?”

“I have to travel and you want to come, I have to disappear to meet with councils until late at night, and you never once complain”

I smiled “well, I suppose I could complain, but what good would that do?”

He moved closer to me, taking me into his arms “and what exactly would you complain about?”

“mmm” I sighed “just the lack of time I get to spend with my husband” I nestled my face into his neck

I felt a deep rumble in his chest “your words make me want to do very inappropriate things”

I chuckled “I’m sure” I replied sarcastically

He moved so he could see my face “merely the ghosting memory of your touch is enough to drive your king to insanity, can you not see? I remember you, lingering in my bedsheets and toying with my hair. Your face hovering above mine and your fingers tracing patterns on my cooled skin. Your hands pinning my own above my head, taking your pleasures from me as your face twists with ecstasy. I long for you back in my arms.”

My body became hot in response to his words “I am in your arms”

“yes” he replied kissing me softly “but not the way you once were, not the way I crave for you to be”

When his lips left mine my head pushed forward slightly to try to keep him to me

“Loki, I…”

“shh” he hushed pulling my face back to his neck “there is no need for you to explain anything, the things I’ve done…I…” he sighed “your feelings are completely justified”

I sighed, relaxing against him, as my mind traveled along the road of ‘what if’. He was right here, right in front of me, and his skin was warm, even hot, against mine. His arms engulfed me, which made me feel oddly safe. This was the man that had stolen me from my home, forced me to marry him, and raped me…but I was letting myself trust him again, I was getting comfortable. I fell asleep uncomfortably with those thoughts in my head.

 

 

It was the afternoon a few days later when I was in the dining hall. As I finished the food in front of me a hand maiden came to remove my dishes

“Where is the king today?” I asked

“Oh” she picked up my plate “I, I don’t know, I will find out for you m’lady, wait here” she sputtered off

I sat in my chair and waited, a little distraught by the woman’s attitude, she seemed nervous, scared even.

“M’lady?” she appeared again

I looked up at her

“the King is in the ceremonial hall” she explained

“Thanks” I replied heading there

It was odd that he would be there, nothing was going on. As I entered the huge room from behind the stage he was standing at the front of the stage, his arms crossed.

I walked up behind him “…Loki?” I touched him lightly on the shoulder

He didn’t even flinch “what are you doing here?” he asked

“I was just looking for you” I moved to stand beside him

He was looking out over the empty room “well you’ve found me” he broke into a small smile

“what’s going on?” I asked, rubbing his arm

He finally turned to look at me “nothing my love” he placed his hand on my face “I was just reminiscing”

“about what?”

“about the past, the choices I’ve made”

“oh?” I smiled “how come?”

He searched my eyes “…tell me, do you fear me?”

I was taken aback “what?”

He was silent, giving me time to process what he had asked

“I…I suppose that I do…sometimes” I replied

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes

“why do you ask?”

He didn’t respond

I stood up on my toes and kissed him, long and slow.

“come with me?” he asked, eyes still closed, our foreheads rested together

“where?” I asked

He backed away and held out his hand “come”

I took his hand and he led me through the halls of the palace. I had a few thoughts about where we might be going, but as we continued I was wrong every time. We went out into the gardens as the sun was setting, and that’s when I realized where we were going. My body tensed and he felt it. He stopped and turned around

“it’s ok, trust me” he whispered

He tried to move again and I tentatively let him take me up into the gazebo. I stood at the entrance and he moved the bench then, suddenly, there was a large blanket spread across the floor. He looked back at me and again held his hand out. I walked towards him to take his hand and, as I suspected, he pulled me down and we sat together on the blanket.

“I don’t believe I’ve ever known love before you and I very much doubt that I will ever know it again after you’ve gone.” He looked out towards the open fields

A warmth settled in my heart “where am I going?”

He smiled “nowhere, ever…you’ll be here with me, safe and happy, forever”

I didn’t know what was on his mind, but what he was saying was calming my thoughts from the other night. I smiled and looked at him

“what?” he asked

“lay down” I smiled

He furrowed his eyebrows for a moment then smiled back at me and laid down, his arms raised up and his hands under his head. I grinned, looking at him all stretched out, and laid down next to him, my head on his shoulder and my hand on his chest. My mind flooded with the memories of our time spent here. The sound of his laugh, the feeling of his fingers in my hair and around my waist. He was always relaxed when we were here, always comfortable. It was here that I would often hear about things that were bugging him, things he was thinking about, what he wanted for the future, just…how he felt. He would always seem so much lighter afterwards, having talked to someone.

“you do think of the past often, don’t you?” he asked quietly

I sighed “and you are in my thoughts often, aren’t you?”

He chuckled “only when your relaxed, only when your guards down and you don’t know I’m trying too be” he paused “but there’s still one thing I can’t figure out”

“what’s that?”

“You stayed with me, when you didn’t have to” he wrapped his arm loosely around my waist “when I first found out the truth…everyone else turned away from me in fear, even my own brother, but not you. I saw something different in your eyes when you looked at me, and even now…is it love? Perhaps desire? Come, my dearest and tell me. Tell me I am a monster worthy of love.” He looked down into my eyes

I looked up and placed my hand on his cheek “you _are_ worthy of love”

He leaned into my touch “…and yet you do not love me”

“Loki…” I thought about what I was about to say “all those years ago I loved you, so wholly, so completely…I don’t know that I’ll ever feel that way about you again”

“I understand…and yet I can’t find a way to be contented with that” he sighed propping himself up on his elbows

“I’m sorry”

“you are my life, but it has no meaning until you trust me, until you love me.” We locked eyes “You will trust me again, and I will spend my entire life proving to you that I am worthy of your love.” He kissed my forehead

It wasn’t a statement, it was a promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took some inspiration from Loki's Dirty Whispers...again.


End file.
